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Indiana Jones and
The Temple of Doom
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
I have a lot of nostalgia for Temple of Doom, arguably more than any of the other movies and I'd probably attribute that to it containing some of my favorites scenes of the series. Unfortunately it also has easily the worst scenes of the series too and this makes it difficult to place what I think of it overall.
As I mentioned in Raiders, animal exploitation gets to me and it ruins good movies. I can think of no worse example than Temple of Doom which features no shortage of Shishkebabs, Chickens, Elephants, Monkeys, Lizards, Owls, SNAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Rhino Beetles, Roaches, Centipedes, OtherBugsIDon'TRecognize, and Crocodiles, putting even Titanic to shame (if you wonder why I haven't counted the "Giant Vampire Bats" you evidently aren't keeping up).
Of course one must not forget the baby Eels which are graphically cut out of a stuffed Boa Constrictor during the infamous dinner scene.
I ****ing hate that scene. The only other scene I can think of that reaches it's level of skeeving me out is that extreme close-up of that one dude eating in Avalon. WHY are you trying to gross-out your audience? What do you accomplish with this other than transparently painting your bad guys as such cartoons that THEY EAT MONKEY BRAINS???
I don't care if Indy goes back with a bowl of fruit after the fact and I don't care that the monkey heads were props, they still subjected live animals to this **** and in many cases killed them for the sake of these types of scenes.
I'm so far past the scenes in this movie by this point that I can't even really get upset over it anymore, it's just disgusting, horrid, vile, repulsive, ugly to think about, facemelting drek. This must've been what was really in the Ark because I can think of no more withering a concept than THIS as entertainment.
Surely the worst most foul part of any of the movies by far, but even if you don't agree with me on this particular topic, you have to admit the first 50 minutes of this movie are a struggle.
It opens up with a musical number which is baffling in and of itself, I can enjoy it for what it is but I can understand why somebody would be put off by such an intro following Raiders. This leads to a restaurant brawl and shortly leads into the iconic liferaft scene where Indy, Willy, and Short Round must bail out of an airplane full of chickens before they all explode in one of the fakest special effects you'll see in the series.
These two brief sequences make up the majority of all action in the first 50 minutes, the rest of which is bloated with exposition and worse, comedy.
Not that Indiana Jones can't be funny, but the humor centers almost entirely around Willy who makes Marion's feeble-ass character look like a goddess by comparison.
Willy is EVERY SICKENING HATEFUL female character stereotype rolled into one.
She endangers their lives, she can't defend herself for ****, her voice upticks into that annoying ear-piercing wail that makes you wanna punch her in the face, and the majority of her dialog is bitching, complaining, and whining about how SHE BROKE A NAIL, or HER ELEPHANT SMELLS, or how INDY WON'T HAVE SEX WITH HER and why would Indy want to stick his willy in Willy anyway?
Surely masturbating is a better option than having sex with an air raid siren with skin?
Maybe that dinner scene JUST REALLY GOT HIM GOIN'
NO I'M NOT LETTING THAT ****ING GO.
Fortunately, after the first 50 minutes we roll back into our comfort zone until finally the last 30 minutes roll around and this is where the movie goes from **** to awesome.
The rope bridge scene is great for a number of reasons, but when I think back to Temple of Doom I'm most reminded of the minecart scene. It's certainly entertaining on it's own, but I get the strong impression that I liked it more because I always associated it with the fond memories I have of playing Donkey Kong Country.
I loved those levels and seeing them Indiana Jonesified reminds me how much the Indiana Jones series had an influence on video games, the most obvious I can think of probably being Crash Bandicoot's boulder run stages which are also super nostalgic memories for me.
They're just really fun memorable moments to put yourself into and I know peoples' love for Indiana Jones is due in no small part to Temple of Doom.
I wish I could share their feelings, but unfortunately TOD goes far beyond what would regularly qualify for "rubbing me the wrong way" and now seeing just how much of the movie is actually spent on this really just confirms my feelings on the matter.
Temple of Doom has some fantastic scenes in the second half, but you gotta pass the dreadful first half to get there. It's not worth rewinding your VHS tape all the way.
Frankly, when it comes to that dinner scene, you crossed a line. Anything after that is damage control.
Final Verdict: [Just... Bad]
Indiana Jones and
The Temple of Doom
Fantasy Action Adventure / English / 1984
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
For the Action Movie Countdown.
Temple of Doom was probably the movie I watched most of the original trilogy. Time to reassess and confess why it's not my favorite.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Temple of Doom was probably the movie I watched most of the original trilogy. Time to reassess and confess why it's not my favorite.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"WE are GOING to DIE!"
I have a lot of nostalgia for Temple of Doom, arguably more than any of the other movies and I'd probably attribute that to it containing some of my favorites scenes of the series. Unfortunately it also has easily the worst scenes of the series too and this makes it difficult to place what I think of it overall.
As I mentioned in Raiders, animal exploitation gets to me and it ruins good movies. I can think of no worse example than Temple of Doom which features no shortage of Shishkebabs, Chickens, Elephants, Monkeys, Lizards, Owls, SNAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Rhino Beetles, Roaches, Centipedes, OtherBugsIDon'TRecognize, and Crocodiles, putting even Titanic to shame (if you wonder why I haven't counted the "Giant Vampire Bats" you evidently aren't keeping up).
Of course one must not forget the baby Eels which are graphically cut out of a stuffed Boa Constrictor during the infamous dinner scene.
I ****ing hate that scene. The only other scene I can think of that reaches it's level of skeeving me out is that extreme close-up of that one dude eating in Avalon. WHY are you trying to gross-out your audience? What do you accomplish with this other than transparently painting your bad guys as such cartoons that THEY EAT MONKEY BRAINS???
I don't care if Indy goes back with a bowl of fruit after the fact and I don't care that the monkey heads were props, they still subjected live animals to this **** and in many cases killed them for the sake of these types of scenes.
I'm so far past the scenes in this movie by this point that I can't even really get upset over it anymore, it's just disgusting, horrid, vile, repulsive, ugly to think about, facemelting drek. This must've been what was really in the Ark because I can think of no more withering a concept than THIS as entertainment.
Surely the worst most foul part of any of the movies by far, but even if you don't agree with me on this particular topic, you have to admit the first 50 minutes of this movie are a struggle.
It opens up with a musical number which is baffling in and of itself, I can enjoy it for what it is but I can understand why somebody would be put off by such an intro following Raiders. This leads to a restaurant brawl and shortly leads into the iconic liferaft scene where Indy, Willy, and Short Round must bail out of an airplane full of chickens before they all explode in one of the fakest special effects you'll see in the series.
These two brief sequences make up the majority of all action in the first 50 minutes, the rest of which is bloated with exposition and worse, comedy.
Not that Indiana Jones can't be funny, but the humor centers almost entirely around Willy who makes Marion's feeble-ass character look like a goddess by comparison.
Willy is EVERY SICKENING HATEFUL female character stereotype rolled into one.
She endangers their lives, she can't defend herself for ****, her voice upticks into that annoying ear-piercing wail that makes you wanna punch her in the face, and the majority of her dialog is bitching, complaining, and whining about how SHE BROKE A NAIL, or HER ELEPHANT SMELLS, or how INDY WON'T HAVE SEX WITH HER and why would Indy want to stick his willy in Willy anyway?
Surely masturbating is a better option than having sex with an air raid siren with skin?
Maybe that dinner scene JUST REALLY GOT HIM GOIN'
NO I'M NOT LETTING THAT ****ING GO.
Fortunately, after the first 50 minutes we roll back into our comfort zone until finally the last 30 minutes roll around and this is where the movie goes from **** to awesome.
The rope bridge scene is great for a number of reasons, but when I think back to Temple of Doom I'm most reminded of the minecart scene. It's certainly entertaining on it's own, but I get the strong impression that I liked it more because I always associated it with the fond memories I have of playing Donkey Kong Country.
I loved those levels and seeing them Indiana Jonesified reminds me how much the Indiana Jones series had an influence on video games, the most obvious I can think of probably being Crash Bandicoot's boulder run stages which are also super nostalgic memories for me.
They're just really fun memorable moments to put yourself into and I know peoples' love for Indiana Jones is due in no small part to Temple of Doom.
Temple of Doom has some fantastic scenes in the second half, but you gotta pass the dreadful first half to get there. It's not worth rewinding your VHS tape all the way.
Frankly, when it comes to that dinner scene, you crossed a line. Anything after that is damage control.