15 Movies to Watch During A First Date

[hapax_legomena]

Got a hot date with some internet sweetie pie that you're 78% sure isn't actually a man? Need something to do, and running out of ideas as the moment of truth approaches? Don't you fret silly boy/girl, for I have taken the time out of my day to compile a quick list of 15 movies that will surely make your date's panties drop.





*Note: This list is a bit labored and obvious. And trying way too hard.









15. I Spit On Your Grave
http://i.imgur.com/xJnWPxb.png
Admittedly, I haven't actually seen this movie yet. I own it on blu-ray, but the disc is ruined and I've been too lazy to grab another copy. Regardless, it's no mystery that this movie is a surefire hot & steamy romance. Will also make your female date feel important and empowered. Girl power!

14. Vera Drake
http://i.imgur.com/IaL0zPT.png
There is no need to be subtle here. You need to send the proper message to any new potential love interest with great haste. Bonus points if they have had a child with a past lover.

13. Caligula
http://i.imgur.com/veIwCSU.png
Extravagant period drama that certainly isn't shorthanded on the romance.

12. Tetsuo: The Iron Man
http://i.imgur.com/p7BNbiD.png
What's hotter than a love-making scene featuring a drilldick? Not much. Fun for everybody!

11. The Holy Mountain
http://i.imgur.com/pqe2Bjy.png
This movie is basically like going to a carnival, and b*tches love carnivals.

10. Amour
http://i.imgur.com/bvw5SJF.png
A loving and warm twist on your average teen romance chick flick, this time with your grandparents. This is a good film for snuggling close to your date.

09. Black Moon
http://i.imgur.com/feXxWXN.png
Nothing quite like a fairytale to keep your date interested. It's almost like watching a Disney movie, which anyone can appreciate.

08. The Piano Teacher
http://i.imgur.com/s9Mdxjt.png
Everyone knows that a little forbidden love is hot. A cheerful and passionate romance flick that wears its heart on its sleeve.

07. Eraserhead
http://i.imgur.com/tmzf5Bg.png
Couldn't get a copy of Vera Drake? No worries, see if you can find Eraserhead. A similar message is there for your date to interpret, and it's probably an easier watch as well.

06. Dogtooth
http://i.imgur.com/QrELyfb.png
A family dramedy is always a good way to keep the spirits high, and the awkwardness low. Good conversational piece as well.

05. Irreversible
http://i.imgur.com/3BLC6zf.png
Both fun and entertaining, and sure to be your dates new favorite romance drama. This movie will let your date know that you would run around town for her/him if someone has done them wrong.

04. In the Realm of the Senses
http://i.imgur.com/T4U0A2p.png
Another passionate romance flick about forbidden love. Who needs Romeo & Juliet when you have In the Realm of the Senses? And this is your chance to share with your date the family recipe deviled eggs. Everyone loves a good cook!

03. Cannibal Holocaust
http://i.imgur.com/EH1WFCy.png
You know what this list has been missing? Furry fuzzy adorable lovable animals! And Cannibal Holocaust has enough to fit your cuteness overload needs. Perfect for the sensitive and shy.

02. Visitor Q
http://i.imgur.com/iQlR4Ur.png
Another family dramedy, this time on the silly and whimsical side. Visitor Q is sure to be a pleaser for all, especially for those who share a close relationship with their immediate family.

01. Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom
http://i.imgur.com/NnFtUtm.png
It has romance, it has marriage, it has feasts, and it has story-telling. Could it possibly get any better than that? Possibly impress your date by breaking out the chocolate fondue kit. Great for group dates.

[wintertriangles]

For some reason Vera Drake made me laugh the most. Until this:
it has feasts

[linespalsy]

haha, but these are a couple that I watched on first dates (for real):

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8449/8015212877_689e0c0007_z.jpg

and with my wife:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A2tKDnPmzYM/TyoGn1c2YNI/AAAAAAAABHw/RWRbkRyTT2Q/s1600/Femme_fatale_poster.jpg

[hapax_legomena]

Yeah Vera Drake is the one I really gave a good, solid self-chuckle for

[wintertriangles]

Now I want to watch Visitor Q again just for the breast milk bit. God, that movie..

Also just noticed this: :laugh:Dogtooth: ....to keep spirits high, and the awkwardness low

[Yoda]

Heh. Funny you should mention that. I was once faced with that exact choice. About 8-9 years ago I asked a girl to the movies. It was some smallish, quasi-independent theater. We saw Finding Neverland, not because either of us wanted to, but because the only other two movies playing were Vera Drake and Hotel Rwanda. So it was either that, or abortion or genocide for a first date. Easy choice.

I ended up marrying her roommate.

[donniedarko]

This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry and his girlfriend are making out during Schindler's List.

[hapax_legomena]

Now I want to watch Visitor Q again just for the breast milk bit. God, that movie..

Also just noticed this: :laugh:

Visitor Q is always quality. Fun for the whole family.


I ended up marrying her roommate.

You dawg, you.

[Harry Lime]

*Note: This list is a bit labored and obvious
Oh, it's more than just a bit laboured and obvious. It's trying way too hard.

[hapax_legomena]

Harry Lime is obviously Ben Stein.

[Harry Lime]

I still haven't seen Tetsuo.

[hapax_legomena]

You will probably laugh yourself silly.

[SnuffStuff]

I need to see Caligula already.

All the others are legit date films. No antichrist?

[Mr Minio]

I shall date a girl and watch some movies from your list with her then tell you about her reaction.

[donniedarko]

The only ones I saw here were Irreversible, The Piano Teacher and Eraserhead.
I only really love the last one.

[TheUsualSuspect]

I ended up marrying her roommate.

That's very Ted Mosby of you.

[hapax_legomena]

I need to see Caligula already.

All the others are legit date films. No antichrist?

wtf this was on my list. I have no idea wtf happened to it.

I bet I erased it to switch places of two movies, and then forgot it.

[mark f]

Where's Singapore Sling and Urotsukidoji?

http://witneyman.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/singapore-sling.jpg?w=470&h=272http://moco.youmint.com/wallpaper/showimage.php?dig=MzIwLTI0MA==&ntc=QW5pbWU=&nim=QW5pbWVfMTAwNzU4LmpwZw==

[hapax_legomena]

One might say I haven't heard of those movies unfortunately.

[Monkeypunch]

Strangely, on our first date my girl and I watched 28 Days Later. Well, first we watched Yes Man, a pretty fun Jim Carrey rom-com, but I was so nervous I didn't try to kiss her. Then we watched 28 Days later, and my GOD there was no appropriate place to lean in during that movie...

"...And we climbed the mountains of bodies..." (ok, not the moment.)
*dead baby on screen* (dead baby? nooooo)
*Zombies eat a bunch of people* (this is not going well...)
*Dr. Who sets the female characters up to be raped by his troops* (Dammit, the first movie was OBVIOUSLY the time...)

But it turned out to be awesome anyways, we had chicken wings, and everytime a zombie ate someone we ate a chicken wing to get the full zombie experience. And a year and a half later, we're still together. So maybe that WAS the best date movie ever?

[hapax_legomena]

If a girl still talks to you after watching one of these movies, marry her.

[cricket]

I would love to have your DVD collection!

[Sedai]

I never go to the movies on a first date. I love film, I I would probably talk about films on a first date, but sitting in a dark room where you have to be quiet isn't the best way to get to know someone you have just met. I leave the films for the second or third date!

[SnuffStuff]

I watched Requiem for a Dream first time hanging out with a girl who was a recovering heroin addict.

+10 thoughtfulness points


(i tapped that that night)
































(she relapsed a month later)






;_;

[hapax_legomena]

I would love to have your DVD collection!

It's good for your average suicidal sociopath.

I can suggest you some better collection my friend....

Doubt it.

I never go to the movies on a first date. I love film, I I would probably talk about films on a first date, but sitting in a dark room where you have to be quiet isn't the best way to get to know someone you have just met. I leave the films for the second or third date!

Yeah, I would never go to the movies, but I like hanging out and throwing in a movie. Like Salo.

I watched Requiem for a Dream first time hanging out with a girl who was a recovering heroin addict.

+10 thoughtfulness points


(i tapped that that night)
































(she relapsed a month later)






;_;

We should all take notes from this man.

[the samoan lawyer]

3 words....

Slaughtered

Vomit

Dolls

:eek:

[the samoan lawyer]

or else Seed (2007).
If she's not putty in your hands after seeing this then she's not worth it.

[CelluloidChild]

If these movies are what you watch on a first date, I'm not sure I'd like to know how you consummate your relationships.

[Mr Minio]

By watching more films I presume!

[hapax_legomena]

If these movies are what you watch on a first date, I'm not sure I'd like to know how you consummate your relationships.

I like to recreate the scene from Caligula when he gives Proculus his very special wedding gift.

[hapax_legomena]

3 words....

Slaughtered

Vomit

Dolls

:eek:

This sounds awesome.

or else Seed (2007).
If she's not putty in your hands after seeing this then she's not worth it.

This, although I'm sure quite perfect for a first date, is still directed by Uwe Boll. At least I actually get enjoyment (and arousal) from the films listed. Uwe Boll keeps me flaccid.

[edwardc77]

I took a girl out to see Pulp Fiction once.....and she fell asleep during the movie!
We're just good friends now.

[hapax_legomena]

I once dated a person who liked Avatar.


We are no longer dating.

[the samoan lawyer]

This sounds awesome.



This, although I'm sure quite perfect for a first date, is still directed by Uwe Boll. At least I actually get enjoyment (and arousal) from the films listed. Uwe Boll keeps me flaccid.

I think you'll enjoy it.

very true, although ive only watched that and Rampage (actually watchable) from the Uwe Boll collection.

[hapax_legomena]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H0OlTXDyKSo/UQ1N1JGAUOI/AAAAAAAACPk/kYHFq9kCZak/s1600/uwe-boll.jpg

[gandalf26]

Last time I made her watch Das Boot.

Was weird, her mother got really ill afterwards and she didn't have any time to see me.

[the samoan lawyer]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H0OlTXDyKSo/UQ1N1JGAUOI/AAAAAAAACPk/kYHFq9kCZak/s1600/uwe-boll.jpg


http://content9.flixster.com/photo/13/92/76/13927671_ori.jpg

[hapax_legomena]

Somebody just brought this to my attention,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=348qOuXOAXo

[CelluloidChild]

I like to recreate the scene from Caligula when he gives Proculus his very special wedding gift.

Ah, but then you must enjoy first dates with a newly married couple...

[Pyro Tramp]

Not sure what it says about me when the majority of them are in my top 100. Inside is always a good one, just to let them know where you stand on kids.

[hapax_legomena]

Not sure what it says about me when the majority of them are in my top 100. Inside is always a good one, just to let them know where you stand on kids.

I actually had Inside on my list while making it, but ultimately had to cut it out in the end for others I deemed more suitable.

Ah, but then you must enjoy first dates with a newly married couple...

I'll just modify it and make my date be Proculus to save time and effort.

[CelluloidChild]

I'll just modify it and make my date be Proculus to save time and effort.

This had never occurred to me before - not that I've had much occasion to dwell on the etymology of the characters in Caligula - but it cannot be a coincidence that he's named Proculus

proktus being Greek for anus

Also, I didn't think there was a need for modification. It was rather touching to imagine you as a nefarious Trojan third wheel with your date/s.

[Mr Minio]

Lately, I've seen Cannibal Holocaust and In the Realm of Senses. "Enjoyed" both of them. ^^

[The Gunslinger45]

I have seen Caligula. It is an EXCELLENT date movie and Malcom McDowell is the very definition of heartthrob what with the relationship with his sister and the seductive things he does with a lubed up fist....

RUN AWAY!!!!!!

[Mr Minio]

That's the kind of recommendation I needed. Going to watch Caligula!

[The Gunslinger45]

That's the kind of recommendation I needed. Going to watch Caligula!

Not my desired intent, but yeah have fun with that. lmao

[honeykid]

Caligula is pretty funny.

[The Gunslinger45]

Caligula is pretty funny.

Especially Peter O Toole looking like he is completely blitzed throughout his time on screen.

[spunder]

Nice list...I loved Femme Fatale.