Wow, do I ever stink... Sheesh, not only did I just get my ass handed to me by a girl, (something that seems to happen an awful lot in the FFB world I might add) but apparently I have no QB and AND my record last week for picking all of these wonderful games was a paltry 2-5!
An unnamed source inside the Odd Squad locker room had these remarks to share after the Teen Terror debacle: "Getting beat up by a midget is just ridiculous. I mean, she's only 3'4". Pathetic. Hole early, hole late. We played like Horsesh*t. Do you know what Horsesh*t is? Well that's what we played like."
Put a bullet to me.
Oh well, guess we'll just have to trot on out there this Sunday and do it all over again. It's not insane to keep expecting different results if I keep doing the same thing over and over again is it? Nah.
First off let's try to improve on PW's terrible record from last week by picking us a few winners shall we? We shall.
Odd Squad vs. Flash
As of right now, I have no QB and I have no idea who I'm gonna roll out there this Sunday. I may go the homer route, I don't know. I seriously doubt that Kolb will start though so I may have to do something drastic. Besides, those damn concussions are so dicey, who knows if Kolb will ever be fantasy trustworthy again. Time will tell.
I still like a large chunk of my team so its not all bad.
Flash on the other hand has his whole season basically riding on the Colts. Logic dictates that most weeks this is a good bet to take. I think I may have a shot depending on what NY D shows up but I don't feel real comfortable about it.
My pick: Flash, but if you feel like kicking this game to me I wouldn't think any less of you.
11 Angry Men vs The Replicants
Wow, can you believe that one of these two teams will actually be forced to start the year 0-2? Crazy game this FFB. And what a tough game to pick too. Welker and Moss get the Jets D and Schuab is at Washington. Bush is at SF and after last weeks debacle I know Singletary is going to have his young SF Defense in a frenzy, Chris may be stuck playing him though unless the other Bush is ready to go.
Seds doesn't have it much better, but Johnson won't be hushed for two straight weeks will he? Colston gets the aforementioned Niners and Barber gets Chicago while TO gets the Ravens. A lot of tough looking matchups. I imagine a little more lineup tweaking may be in order, but as it stands now...
My pick: The Replicants send Yoder to the cellar to keep PW company.
His Own Ego vs. GWOW
GWOW is just weird to say. Anyway, His Own Ego had himself a nice little week last week and now has his sights set on 2-0 in his way is Senor Gold Teef. Teef gets the Pittsburgh D this week though so if he goes off again then he may really be like one of the best ever, we'll see. Personally I wouldn't mind seeing a few of his gold teef on the ground this weekend. Not sure why exactly, I just think he's a dorkus. There's some more of that hard hitting journalistic integrity that you can only find right here MoFo's.
Jay has Steven Jackson and he's got the Raiders. Nuff said really.
My pick: His Own Ego 2-0!
Sookie's Suckers vs. Beantown Champs
This is such a great league. No easy victories and its very difficult to sprint out to 3-0 or 4-0 when you have to play such an evenly matched opponent week in and week out. That being said though whoever wins this game here may have a shot at doing just that.
Just looking at the matchups I really have to lean Sookie's way. Her two running backs may carry her right to the playoffs with the emergence of Arian Foster and she may get a boatload of points from her defense this week as well as they get Detroit, who is still... Detroit.
Petey's boys on the other hand may have their hands full with Ocho getting Baltimore and Thomas in SF. Forte though will help him stay in this game. I think he's going to have a monster year in a Martz system. And Brees may end up looking almost human this week as well. Actually, I think New Orleans is going to lose outright but Brees is Brees and I'm sure he'll keep his team in the game, that just may not translate into huge numbers for Beantown.
My pick: Ah Sookie Sookie Nah!
IDrinkYourMilkshake vs. Dextruction
Still kinda hard to type. I vote for a name change. Anyway, I just looked at the matchup and saw Rodgers at Buffalo. I really don't need to see anymore than that.
My pick: Dextruction, BOOOM!!!
The Tongo Express vs. Hired Goons
Tongo may have snagged the waiver wire pickup of the year. Time will tell, but man, it sure looks good on paper. Brady's got the Jets, while Brown and Turner both face relatively tough run D's. May be a miserable week for you Badger.
My pick: Tonga, Tonga Tongo!
The No Name Gang vs. Teen Terrors
OK, so its possible for a midget to own and operate a fantasy football team. And its even possible for said team (run by a midget) to be *cough* good. I'm not bitter.
She did put a nice little team together though didn't she? A steady diet of all 3 of her running backs should be enough to propel her to 2-0 even with Palmer starting for her this week. Probably a good move though. Starting Cutler against the Cowboys doesn't sound much better to me really. So, probably a good call.
My pick: Teen Terrors, you go girl!
Annnnnd I'm spent. Let's have some trash talk here MoFo's! Who's going to kick some major MoFo ass this week?
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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...
We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...