Rate The Last Movie You Saw

Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm (Jason Woliner, 2020)

Hard to Kill -

Steven Seagal is not a good actor, off-putting to look at and is apparently not a very good person, but he could sure spin a good action yarn (in the late '80s and the early '90s, anyway). In this one, while on an assignment to expose political corruption, he's betrayed, left for dead, has a seven-year coma and is hell-bent on bringing attack mastermind Senator Trent (William Sadler) to the bank (the blood bank, that is) when he wakes up. Eyeroll-triggering lines like this one and another one about "superior state of mind" abound as do other Seagal trademarks like a tenuous explanation for his martial arts abilities, none of his combatants standing a chance against him and yes, that ponytail. It also has all of the oft-parodied yet too adorable to hate trademarks of action movies from this era like steamy alleyways, a soundtrack that is 99% saxophone or guitar solos, a villain who lives in a cavernous mansion with the requisite hot tub and a love interest - it's Seagal's then-wife Kelly LeBrock - who goes from nerdy to stunning as soon as she remove her glasses and lets her hair down. In short, the movie has a paper-thin premise and there's enough cheese to make you scour your medicine cabinet for Ex-Lax, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any fun with it. Oh, and keep an eye out for a young Dean Norris of Breaking Bad fame. Oh, and apparently, the average person was very, very happy to see Ben Kingsley win the Best Actor trophy at the Oscars.

I think that his films have enough layers (for lack of a better word) that it's easy to either read in what depth you want or condemn it as bloat, when I often think it's something between those two.

I have no words.

I think most viewers actually want Nolan to hold their hands and explain the complicated rules so they can feel smart. This one didn't do that and they feel betrayed.

Re: Seagal. Reminds me of this:

Should have put an Ellen Page in it.

Seagal was not most people's idea of a good actor, but he had a distinct presence and the good fortune to be paired with some pretty good directors early in his career. I'd argue that Out for Justice is the best or at least makes the best use of said presence, but there's good stuff to be found in all of his movies up to and including On Deadly Ground. (Among its pleasures is seeing Seagal letting his freak flag fly, so to speak, after all the movies where the directors did their darnedest to make him look cool.)

In my defense, the role I most associate her with is Clouds of Sils Maria, and I don't think anybody could have salvaged the dialogue she was stuck with.

If she plays more doctors of jism who get it on with space (expletive) machines, perhaps I could be won over.

There is that (they're conceptually "heavy", for lack of a better word), but I suspect a lot of it is that he's one of a handful of auteurs making movies with the budgets and box office he commands, which naturally attracts the hottest of hot takes. To quote Steven Spielberg from his reaction to the '75 Oscar nominations, "Everybody loves a winner but nobody loves a winner."

DEAD NAMER!!!

Thanks, I'll check those out. Should I add Marked For Death and Out For Justice to the mix? Those look like they're on par. I agree that his distinct presence and physicality are Seagal's selling points. Like Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage and Arnold Schwarzenegger, having those qualities can elevate the material in a way that does not translate to anything on movie critics' checklists, if that makes sense.

Well, Ellen Page was in that movie. Elliot was not around yet. But I'm not saying the actor, I'm saying the mechanism, an actor whose only role in the film is to be the audience surrogate on whom massive amounts of expository dialogue to explain any complexities that may exist in the story to the audience can be dumped.
Believe me, I'm happy to call people whatever the **** they want.

Soul


Their best since Toy Story 3. I should've watched this on Christmas instead of WW84.

Thanks, I'll check those out. Should I add Marked For Death and Out For Justice to the mix? Those look like they're on par. I agree that his distinct presence and physicality are Seagal's selling points. Like Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage and Arnold Schwarzenegger, having those qualities can elevate the material in a way that does not translate to anything on movie critics' checklists, if that makes sense.

I'll vouch for the below:
Above the Law - Seagal's origin story and probably the best plot, also has Pam Grier and a really interesting family photo
Hard to Kill - you've seen this, William Sadler, Seagal is excited for the Oscars and gives us a lesson in banking, maybe the most well rounded in representing his appeal
Marked for Death - Insane (in a good way), offensive but tries to atone with a really bizarre development 2/3 into the movie, Keith David learns to not be racist
Out for Justice - Seagal at his most streetwise, borderline NC-17 action, unhinged coked-up William Forsythe, there's a puppy

Under Siege - his most well produced, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey, a stripper comes out of a cake, H.W. is in it for like two seconds if I recall correctly
On Deadly Ground - Seagal tries to combine his environmental concerns with his brand of action, ends up insulting Native Americans in the process, R. Lee Ermey talks him up, Michael Caine has a bad dye job and quit movies for like three years after
Executive Decision - if the above movies don't do it for you, this will be pretty cathartic, solid Kurt Russell actioner otherwise