Tourist Trap -
If you think the Museum of Monsters & Madmen from
House of 1,000 Corpses is a scary roadside attraction, just wait until you see this movie's. In a classic horror film setup, a group of college pals suffer a breakdown on the highway, walk into the woods and stumble upon the barely operational Slausen's Lost Oasis. The proprietor (Chuck Connors, the Rifleman himself) is surprisingly friendly to them despite being a recent widower, in a rivalry with his brother and bitter about a new freeway hurting his business. The friends soon discover what the main draw of the place was (and not under the most favorable circumstances, naturally): mannequins. Everything that happens next amounts to one of the strangest horror movies I've ever seen that, if anything, will make you wonder if Ben Willard's advice in
Apocalypse Now, "never get off the boat," should include another kind of vehicle.
As soon as I saw "A Charles Band Production" in the opening credits, I knew I was in for a treat - albeit one that tastes funny - and what followed met my expectations. If you think the mannequins in
The Twilight Zone episode "The After Hours,"
Silent Hill 2,
Maniac or even the ones in the
Mannequin movies are creepy, they have nothing on the ones at Slausen's from their appearances to what they do to their victims. Their decaying home all but enhances their creepiness, which could have inspired the one in
House of the Devil for how equally isolated and off the beaten path it is as well as how imposing yet darkly beautiful it is at night. The movie also has ringers in Connors, who's just as endearing as Slausen as he is odd, and of course in veteran horror composer Pino Donaggio.
If you've somehow missed the aforementioned horror properties that leverage the unlikely potential of mannequins to scare and you still believe that's ridiculous even after reading this, I'll add that this movie sold me on their potential to get under your skin pretty quickly, not to mention in spite of its obviously low budget. Besides, any of the moments featuring them that could be considered ridiculous are features and not bugs. Again, Connors is a delight, but with the exception of Jocelyn Jones' Molly, our heroes are not exactly the next Laurence Oliviers and they're much harder to like. Also, I'll just say there are reasons why Leatherface from
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn't speak. For the odd, funny and wonderful ways the movie makes you anxious about the next time you have to buy new clothes, it's still worth checking out, even and especially if you're the kind of person who can't resist pulling over to see your country's largest ball of twine.