Annie get your light gun!

OK, I’ll bite. Will post game titles till I countdown to 1. Order doesn’t matter because all these games slap!

100. Lethal Enforcers







Konami got their asses dragged in front of Congress over this one. And it was one of the first Sega games to get a MA-17 because they did what Nintendont: BLOOD! Just further proof the Genesis was the superior console of the time because it brought all that arcade bloody goodness into your living room with this and Mortal Kombat.

I personally played this on Sega CD and it was wicked sharp. This and its sequel will always be my favorite arcade shooter.

99. Rise of the Dragon



This title originally was a DOS/Macintosh game, but it was ported over to Sega CD goodness. One of the best click adventure titles to date. Funny to think I played this game long before I ever got to watch Blade Runner, but now it makes total sense why I enjoyed this game so much. The details were numerous and perfect, making you want to click on everything; I’ve included a video play through from YouTube below that is worth a watch if you never heard of this one. Yet another MA-17 Sega title that made us kids feel edgy as hell. Thank god for the older siblings of family friends.

98. Medievil



Playstation’s demo discs were currency back in the day. And I think just about everyone dorked around in the graveyard. A beautiful upgrade to the standard platform by going 3D. I know it was just my age, but damn this game was kinda creepy. Posted up after tricker treating on Halloween playing this game, tweaking on sugar. It’s the simple things as a child.

97 & 96. A Boy and His Blob





I played the NES copy for hours with no clear idea as to the objective, but the originality of the gameplay puzzles was enough to get me past the restarting loop. In the end, I thought we’d never see a game quite like it again. Then we got an inspired remake that was 1000x better than the original. The artwork alone is worth a playthrough, as well as the music. The puzzles are far easier now and there’s a clear direction to your objectives, so there’s no running around in wonderment.

95. Indy 500





The greatest game for one of the worst consoles ever. I played that thing for hours! Of course, the only reason I had a Game.com device was because they sold terribly and we managed to get one at the end of its run when they were practically paying people to buy one. I can remember having only two games but boy did they entertain. Lights Out was for when you had to be quiet because the grown ups were talking, but when you were allowed to make noise again. Oh baby! Start your engines!!

94. Virtual Boy Wario Land





Whoever thought the Virtual Boy was a good idea needs to be hung up by their toes. Nonetheless, here’s another great game in spite of its shit console. I only ever played this in Toys R Us. A kid would play for 5-10 minutes, and then wooze themselves back to their parents. “I don’t feel good, but can we buy this?” I played it far too long myself, gave myself a headache, and saw red dots for a few hours. Then I puked in the parking lot. Suffice it to say, I never owned a Virtual Boy.

93. Microsoft Solitaire



If you haven't wasted time at your work computer playing Solitaire are you even a good American? Seriously, this game has been around since 1990 and was how a lot of us got introduced to the GUI of computers. Click, drag, hooray! You learned to use a computer by playing a card game no one actually would ever play in real life. Unless they were stranded on an island with a deck of cards and no efficient way to off themselves, much like Cast Away. Solitaire is more American than Kraft Cheese or Campbell's soup, so load up a game and may the odds be ever in your favor!

__________________
"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza

92. Chip's Challenge





One of the greatest puzzle games ever created. I was introducted to this game via the Microsoft Entertainment Pack 4 floppy disk. A lot of Gateway computers game with the full collection of games from Microsoft (4 disks in all). Most of these games were designed to showcase a computer as being useful for something other than doing work, so all you PC gamers should be sending thank you cards to Microsoft on their birthday. It's the only considerate thing to do. How else would you be able to smite goblins and trample linebackers today without the foundations of PC gaming?

All I know is this was the hardest puzzle game I have ever played, and I was lucky to even get to level 20. Hard to believe there were over 100 levels of even more torturous pain.

Aw man, Chip's Challenge brings me WAY back...

Where's Postal 2? Any game list without Postal 2 sucks!

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San Franciscan lesbian dwarves and their tomato orgies.

91. TMNT III: The Manhattan Project



There's some debate as to which TMNT game is the best on NES, but that's because people don't know what they talking bout! The third one was a beatup hit with some bitchin tunes and shell kicking goodness. This one also pushed the NES to its full limits and showcased just how much power the NES was capable of unleashing in your living room. Can you smell the pizza?

90. X-Men 2: Clone Wars



Before we had a decent X-Men movie we had an amazing X-Men game. Two player fun that had a unique first level twist: it would drop you straight into the action without letting you choose a character. Now I know that sounds lame because it kind of is but the effect it had at the time was a fast paced smack em round atmosphere. After that first level you got choice, but even then most of the levels had a character that performed far and away better than the rest. Or you could just cheat and get Magento for the whole game and tear some ass up. Yeah, that's the way to do it.

89. Star Wars Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader



I spent many a visits at Walmart staring up at a screen playing this game. Didn't own a GameCube till the tail end of its lifecycle, and by then it was hard to find a copy of this because it was so popular. Even today it's a title that is a must have for retro gamers. I now finally own a copy myself and I do play it regularly. If you got 20-30 minutes to kill then why not raise hell and punch back at the Empire? Controls are fantastic, graphics have aged like wine, and the replayability alone is why this is a must play.

88. Star Wars: Starfighter



Surprise surprise, it's another Star Wars fighter game. This was the first of two games I owned for the PS2, and I played this one over and over and over. Replayability is right up there with Rouge Leader. Set in a much earlier time of the universe it doesn't quite have the same feel of urgency in kicking ass, but you kick it nonetheless. Just depends on how much you hate the first Star Wars movie whether you could stand this game. Thankfully, I was young at the time so I personally thought Episode 1 was awesome and felt right at home in my Naboo N-1 Starfighter.

87. The Legend of Zelda Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages



Forget Ocarina of Time and forget BotW. No other Zelda game can hold a candle to the greatness that is this duo. Released as a last hurrah for the Game Boy Color, these games packed in 30 hrs of gaming across two separate titles. One sees you controlling the seasons and another sees you warping back and forth through time. These games are quintessential Zelda. Peak gaming on mobile and an infinitely better story than any of the home console varieties. A unique linking system requires you to play and beat these games a couple of times to reveal passwords that unlock unique items and events in the counterpart game.

If you owned a Game Boy Color and never played these games then you did yourself a disservice, and I weep for you. I truly do.

86. Crazy Taxi



Dreamcast was the best console available from a company that perfected the art of shooting themselves in the foot, and Crazy Taxi was one of the most recognized games for that platform. Sadly, not even this arcade goodness could save SEGA from circling the drain. It would be less than a year later that the plug would be pulled and this title was disseminated across the gaming sphere. But to this day the Dreamcast version still reigns supreme. Seriously, why did SEGA have to be so stupid when they had exclusive arcade classics like this one?

85. Donkey Kong Country 2



Game Boy Advance had some of the best platform games, but this one was the best. Graphics, music, and controls were on point. Plenty of hours could be wasted on this if you went out of your way to collect everything. I never got into the home console versions of DK but I could play this all day. Too bad I didn’t own a GBA and just had to watch a friend play on the bus. That’s the safe way for me to play games in a vehicle. If I was playing I’d probably puke on my shoes.

84. Super Star Wars



That’s no moon. It’s a SNES!

This is the best version of Star Wars. Far and away. Sprites are sharp, gameplay mechanics were ground breaking, and the story was a pretty accurate telling of the movie given the limited experience of translating movies to games. I never owned a SNES, but if I had, this would be the first game in the library.

83. Medal of Honor: Frontline



I think the opening credit will say more than enough about this one:

And when he gets to Heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell:
One more soldier reporting sir -
l've served my time in Hell.

82. Call of Duty 2



Another game better served by a quote than me blathering on about LAN parties and the cries of nerds:

"Better to fight for something than live for nothing." - General George S. Patton