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G.I. Jane




G. I. Jane
Military Action / English / 1997

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
This could either be incredibly offense or incredibly awesome.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"Suck my dick!"

"Love", kissing, camels, goats, I'm ****in' ashamed.

Just ****in' ashamed.

With so many people right now.

Firstly I'm ashamed with every single butthead who made those "Top X Badass Female Characters in Movies" lists I spent all of last week searching through. I'm ashamed in every single one of them who picked Katniss from Hunger Games, and I'm ashamed in every single ****rag who picked a SUPPORT CHARACTER to fill out their list because they couldn't think far beyond Sarah Conner, Ellen Ripley, Furiosa, The Bride, Lisbeth Salander aaand... that one chick from Sin City?

Trinity in The Matrix??

Black Widow in The Avengers???

Lucy, GO **** YOURSELF!!!

We have Wing Chun! We have Savage Streets! We have THIS MOVIE and don't even get me started on how every single one of those ****ing lists fails to specify LIVE-ACTION!



G.I. Jane is SURPRISINGLY a great movie. It could very easily have pushed it's obviously feminist angle WAY past the breaking point with just ONE offhand remark, just ONE whisper of man-hate, just ONE... ANYTHING that would delegitimize what it tries to do, but it DOESN'T.

We IMMEDIATELY open up with whatsherface "Haven" publicly slamming "sensitivity training for men" in a televised hearing and instantly she becomes the bitch-in-charge to put the first woman into the Navy Seals despite all the sexism that rankles the comfortably cock-centric elite.

Demi Moore as O'Neil takes the hits, rolls with the punches, says "**** you" to handouts and insulting double standards so she can compete with the best of 'em and even kick a sexist Viggo Mortenson in the nuts. **** YEAH, GIRL POWER!

And that's when bureaucracy steps in, as it -always- does, accuses her of lesbianism (because it SOMEHOW affects them) and redacts all of her training.

All at the hands of the queen bitch-in-charge, Haven, who is EXACTLY the kind of personality that should have no ****ing input on this kind of movie.

It's bad enough when MEN are sexist to women, but when WOMEN are sexist to women, I wanna CLOCK HER IN THE TEETH! Cause that's your real antagonist! It's not just men keeping women down, it's women pulling the same **** because they've deluded themselves into believing there's a meaningful difference! It's an enemy on the INSIDE and it needs KILLING!

Sadly, she gets no such comeuppance and O'Neil returns to duty only to be sucked into real warfare and pull off her Mulan Moment when she has to save the life of her male superior officer.

And the whole team came to accept her, sexism was abolished, real lesbians continued to get ****ed over by Don't Ask Don't Tell and EVERYONE WAS HAPPY.

EXCEPT ME. Because I'm still ashamed!

In Demi Moore. WHAT THE ****, Demi Moore!? You looked great in this movie as it is, you didn't need the breast enhancement, I mean ****, you're not even recognizable anymore!



You star in one of the most pro-equality feminist films ever made and you come away with plastic surgery!?!? WELL, I GUESS WE'VE HURDLED THE GAP THAT IS WOMEN IN THE MILITARY, BUT UNREALISTIC STANDARDS OF BEAUTY?

PPPPPBBFBBFBFBFBTTTTT
YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' RIDDA THAT!

Just because a woman can fire a gun now don't mean she shouldn't have a little JUNK IN THE TRUNK.

And you know who else I'm ashamed in? ****in' these guys. Not just the people passing the law (because **** drafts), but the people writing the article.

You specifically reference the title of a movie which ***** ALL OVER what you say in it and yet:

Originally Posted by Jennifer Christman
Still, the idea of disinclined women as conscripts of the armed forces (emphasis on force) makes me shiver. While I don't have children, I can't fathom my friends' daughters being drafted. I think about how inept and immature I was at age 18. I struggled just being a student. How could my country have counted on me to be a soldier?
HOW DO YOU THINK MEN FEEL, YOU SEXIST PRICK!?


Final Verdict:
[Pretty Good]