The Resident Bitch Prepares for... the Most Recent MoFo Countdown

Alice In Wonderland
(Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson and Hamilton Luske, 1951)

It's been a few years since I last watched this movie and I had kind of forgotten how unrelentingly weird it is. It is just packed with things that are both nonsensical and delightfully whimsical, with bright colors, memorable characters, and fun songs (A very merry unbirthday to you!). It was never a favorite as a child, but its craziness has grown on me in my adulthood. I still wouldn't call it a big favorite, but it will no doubt make my ballot.

The part where the dog-broom-thing erases the path Alice was walking and she's lost in the woods is genuinely terrifying to me.

I can see that. In the moment I was too distracted by the weirdness of it to really think about its implications.

Have you ever seen the 1985 TV movie of Alice in Wonderland? I mention it partly because the "Jam Tomorrow" song gets totally stuck in my head. It's catchy and demented at the same time.

No, the Tim Burton one is the only other version I've seen.

I couldn't even make it through that clip you posted. I suspect that version wouldn't be for me.

Cinderella (Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske, 1950)
Imdb

Date Watched: 5/30/16
Cinema or Home: Home
Reason For Watching: I figured I ought to rewatch it for the 50's list
Rewatch: Yes, though it's been at least 20 years

As I said in my Snow White review, I've never been overly fond of princess movies. However, I vaguely remembered liking this particular one with its cute mice and other critters. Well the mice are cute and the animation is gorgeous but I don't have a whole lot else positive to say about it.

The characters are extremely one dimensional, the romance is flimsy at best ("We danced for a few hours, and I don't know your name or anything about you and can't remember your face well enough to describe it to the people searching for you, but I remember you being hot and you left this shoe behind and, damn it, I'M IN LOVE AND I'M GONNA MARRY YOU!!!" ), the songs bugged me ("A dream is a wish your heart makes..." Really? My heart's wishing for some pretty f***ed up s***, then) and I was really irritated by two particular characters: the fairy godmother and Lucifer.

What good is a fairy godmother, anyway? She lets you suffer YEARS of abuse at the hands of your stepmother and stepsisters, only to suddenly appear to do what? Give you a taste of something good - a pretty dress and a ride to the royal ball - only to suddenly take it away and return you to your sh!tty life with your sh!tty step-family? What the hell is that?

As for Lucifer, it wasn't the character himself that bugged, but was the way he was portrayed and the way he came to his demise. Apparently that "mean old thing" being chased out of a high window and presumably plummeting to his death is justified by... What, exactly? I mean, what did he do that made him so damn "mean"? Scratch the dog? Make a mess on the floor Cinderella had just cleaned (for which she started to chase him with a broom with the obvious intent to beat him with it)? Unsuccessfully attempt to hunt some mice? Try to stop those same mice from stealing a necklace? And... umm... umm... sleep a lot? Man that sure is one evil cat and he definitely deserved that comeuppance...? Oh and as for the stepmother and stepsisters, their comeuppance for their actual cruelty is... nothing. Not a damn thing. But that cat sure had it coming. WTF, Disney? WTF?



But even through all that, there was something undeniably charming about the whole stupid thing and I'd be lying if I said I didn't get some enjoyment out of it.

+

Hairspray
(John Waters, 1988)

This is definitely the least John Waters-y John Waters movie I've ever seen and I appreciate its messaging and racial, sexuality, and size inclusion, but I have to say this movie left me rather confused.

Why is this considered a musical? Music is a huge part of the movie and a whole lot of it is featured, but the majority of it is just records being played for the characters to dance to. The few times characters do sing, it's just really minor characters that exist solely to provide more music for the main characters to dance and make out to.

It's the 2007 version, adapted from the Broadway Musical that was adapted from the John Waters film, that really fits. Same story, but with singing.

It's the 2007 version, adapted from the Broadway Musical that was adapted from the John Waters film, that really fits. Same basic story, but with singing and numbers. Waters gave the project his blessing but had nothing to do with it creatively. Nor the film version with John Travolta and the rest.

Cry-Baby
(John Waters, 1990)

I have a rocky history with this movie and with John Waters movies in general. I liked Serial Mom a lot when I was a kid, but didn't care for it at all the last time I watched it. I thought Pecker was just okay and that Pink Flamingoes was absolute dog shit. As for Cry-Baby? I saw it a few times growing up and kind of liked it, but I hated it the last time I watched it (around 15 years ago).

It's been in my DVD collection for probably 20 years now so I figured I had nothing to lose by giving it another shot and... well, I guess I'm back to kind of liking it? As is typical of Waters, the movie is weird and stupid and trashy, but that weird, stupid trashiness has its charm and Johnny Depp looks pretty damn good in it so I was amused enough to not get too annoyed by the songs... this time, at least.

That said, I probably won't watch it again anytime in the next decade or so - but it just might sneak onto my ballot.

It's the 2007 version, adapted from the Broadway Musical that was adapted from the John Waters film, that really fits.

Phantom of the Paradise
(Brian De Palma, 1974)

This was a bizarre little spectacle of a movie. Whereas I called Earth Girls Are Easy “aggressively 80s,” this is perhaps just as aggressively 70s. But that’s not really a complaint. It’s just that it has that 70s kind of weird.

There really wasn’t anything about this movie that I disliked. The music was good, the characters were interesting, and I was never bored. But I think it might be a bit of a stretch to say that I actually liked it. I also think the experience might’ve been enhanced by the use of certain substances, but I don’t partake so that didn’t happen. Still, its brand of weirdness might just be enough to get it onto my ballot.