Vampires, Assassins, and Romantic Angst by the Seaside: Takoma Reviews

Oh, Susanna, 1936

While on a train, Gene Autry (as himself) is accosted by the villainous Wolf Benson (Boothe Howard), who trades outfits with the singing cowboy and throws him off of the train. Arrested as Wolf, Autry must find a way to escape the hangman’s rope, with the help of friends Frog (Smiley Burnette) and Ezeckial (Earle Hodgins).

This is a very slight, light-hearted vehicle for the singing cowboy.

As you might expect from a movie where a singer plays themselves, this film is plot strung together in a way to move the viewer from one song setpiece to another. Fortunately, the characters are likable and the musical numbers are pleasant enough (and the runtime is short enough) that it doesn’t get old or irritating.

This is the epitome of low-stakes, gentle entertainment, the kind of movie you might put on over and over in the background while you do house chores. My favorite musical number was one performed by Frog and Ezeckial where Frog in gentle drag bemoans the infidelity of bicycle riding men.

Along the way there are also plenty of hijinks. Wolf stages an outrageous murder attempt during a knife-throwing performance. Frog and Ezeckial use a stolen phonograph to help Autry lip sync when his voice goes out. Frog stages a mouth-foaming pretend rabies attack in order to help steal said phonograph. I personally found something really darkly funny about the idea that Autry has to perform for “a group of fans”, and that if he sounds enough like himself he will not be killed.

The substance of the film is pretty much all in the musical numbers, which are all perfectly fine, and in the case of the bicycle number pretty funny. This is nothing grand, but it’s sweet and unpretentious.

The Merry Widow, 1934

Madame Sonia (Jeanette MacDonald) is a wealthy widow who owns a large portion of the kingdom of Marshovia. When she decides to leave the country for Paris, the panicked King Achmet (George Barbier) and Ambassador Popoff (Edward Horton) order ladies man Danilo (Maurice Chevalier) to woo her so that she will return.

This is a bawdy, cheeky romp, hampered only by underwhelming music.

This romantic comedy---heavy on the comedy---begins with a great sight gag, as a veiled Sonia meets Danilo, who becomes obsessed with figuring out if she’s hot under the hat. From there it’s a see-saw of wooing, as Danilo and Sonia take turns being the pursuer and the pursued.

Much of the action takes place in an extravagant setting. It might politely be called a nightclub, but it’s the kind of club full of a lot of attractive women and it has “private dining rooms” (complete with distinctly non-dining related furniture and waiters ready to be discreet). In this space Sonia and Donilo dance among dozens and dozens of others, or they exchange pointed and saucy banter in the upstairs room.

Both Chevalier and MacDonald are incredibly winning in their roles. Danilo is a ladies man, but he shows no contempt for the many (MANY) women he sees, and they are all clearly fond of him. While naturally Sonia cannot be allowed to be a woman of conquests, she is no shrinking violet and she meets Donilo toe-to-toe in terms of worldly banter.

The main characters are more than capably supported by the rest of the cast. Una Merkel is very funny as the Queen of Marshovia, and Horton is also particularly funny as the exasperated ambassador. Then there are the dozens and dozens of extras swirling around them in the dance sequences and it all feels larger than life.

The only downside, for me, was the music. There’s a lot of it. And, unfortunately, to me it all kind of blended together. It all had very much that “Some Day My Prince Will Come” sound: kind of high pitched and warbly and all orchestral in the instrumentation. Not terrible, per se, but it often felt like an interruption rather than a natural part of what was happening.

Charming and cheeky, just like its main characters.

The Death Kiss, 1932

On a film set overseen by studio manager Joseph (Bela Lugosi), an actor is killed during the filming of a scene. While the studio wants to bury the incident as an accident and keep filming, screenwriter Franklyn (David Manners) finds evidence that the killing was intentional. With the assistance of studio security man Gulliver (Vince Barnett), Franklyn follows a series of tangled curls to find the killer.

This is a brisk, old-school murder mystery.

This film put me completely in mind of the kind of mysteries I would read when I was in elementary school, and that’s mostly a compliment. This isn’t a layered, nuanced thriller, but rather the kind of story where the cheerful protagonist points out to the police that a dead man couldn’t have written a note because the pen is in the wrong hand.

Manners and Barnett make for a fun duo as they dash from one place to the next, following a trail of breadcrumbs that leads them up, down, and all around the lives of everyone involved in the making of the movie. There are life insurance policies, secret love affairs, cars that have been tampered with, and lamps that have been improbably been outfitted with remote controlled guns.

There’s also a cynical take on Hollywood itself, where the death of one of the actors is mainly seen as an inconvenience, and finishing the film is the top priority. The studio people, outside of screenwriter Franklyn, are more focused on finding an appropriate body double than finding the killer.

As you can imagine, this is pretty fluffy in terms of characterization. There is very little depth to any of the characters, and really nothing in the way of what you’d call character development. When the killer was revealed I was surprised, but mainly because I sort of couldn’t remember who they were.

Not at all a bad way to spend 75 minutes.

The Muppet Movie, 1979

When a very lost movie agent ends up in Kermit the Frog’s swamp, Kermit is convinced to pursue a career in Hollywood. Traveling across the country, he is soon joined by companions Fozzy the Bear, Gonzo, and Miss Piggy. But unfortunately for Kermit, Doc Hopper (Charles Durning) and his reluctant assistant Max (Austin Pendleton) will stop at nothing to force Kermit to become the face of Hopper’s frog leg food chain.

Full of engaging music and fun cameos, this is a fabulous road trip comedy.

This movie is one of those half-remembered films from my childhood. It’s the kind of movie where I didn’t remember all of the specifics, but at times a character would begin to say a line and I would know how the rest of it would go right down to the intonation.

It’s interesting what you click with watching this kind of movie as an adult. As a child I didn’t really know who Elliot Gould or Richard Pryor were, much less understand the general cheekiness of having a certain actor show up as the boss of all of Hollywood. And while I know that I picked up on it as a child----because it’s so overt---I was generally more aware of the meta-textual nods that the film makes. (For example, at one point they let a character know what’s happened so far by simply handing him a copy of the script).

One thing that I was very pleased to discover is that the music is really solid. I normally don’t have much patience for slow songs in musicals, but dang were these all winners! Paul Williams---whom I now know visually from his role in Phantom of the Paradise---and Kenny Ascher put together a fantastic line-up of songs. “Rainbow Connection” is probably the best and most well-known of the bunch, but I also have to give a mention to Gonzo’s strange, melancholy “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” which definitely made me feel weird as a kid and made me unsettled this time around as an adult. The final lyrics in the film, “Life is like a movie/write your own ending/Keep believing/Keep pretending” are just perfect.

The cameos in the film, a staple of the Muppet movies, are for the most part pretty brief, but they get some good one-liners, such as James Coburn as a man who has been thrown out of a wild bar, or Richard Pryor as a man determined to sell Gonzo as many balloons as possible.

As befits a road movie, the action moves from a swamp, to a rowdy bar, to a rural church, to a southern fair, and so on. Everywhere they go, Kermit and his friends pick up more hopefuls---not counting Big Bird, who is determined to make his way east and break into public broadcasting---so that eventually they have a busload of dreamers heading for Hollywood.

There wasn’t much in this film I didn’t like. (Though, wow, I sure didn’t remember there being so many confederate flags being waved around during the fair sequence!). I know that a sequence with Mel Brooks as a sort of Nazi doctor who intends to torture and essentially lobotomize Kermit bothered and scared me as a kid, and even as an adult I found the scene uncomfortable to watch. It’s a bit too violent, despite the cartoonish performances, but that may be some leftover memory of how it made me feel.

A very funny and hopeful film full of great songs and some wonderful/terrible puns. (Myth! Myth! Yeth?).

Mahna Mahna!
Do doo be do do!
Mahna Mahna!
Do do do do!
Mahna Mahna!
Do doo be do do be do do be do do be do do do do do doo do!

This song was first featured in a movie called " Sweden: Heaven and Hell."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mah_N%...A0?wprov=sfla1

Everyone relates it to The Muppets.

I’m aware it didn’t originate with the Muppets but most people know of from them because it was popularized by them.

So Long at the Fair, 1950

Vicky (Jean Simmons) arrives in Paris with her brother, Johnny (David Tomlinson), to enjoy the World’s Fair. After a day of adventuring they retire to their rooms . . . and when Vicky wakes up in the morning, her brother is gone. Not only that, but his room at the hotel no longer exists. The woman who runs the hotel, Madame Herve (Cathleen Nesbitt), further insists that Vicky came to the hotel alone. As even those who are sympathetic to her story---the police, the man at the British consulate---also seem to think she’s just mentally ill, Vicky finally stumbles on someone who does believe her: a painter named George (Dick Bogarde). Together they try to piece together what happened to Johnny.

This thriller has a fantastic premise, though it never quite hits the pulpy excesses that might have pushed it into more memorable territory.

There are moments in this movie that are absolutely fantastic and really speak to the way that the setting of the Fair is a great one for this particular mystery. We know from the beginning that Johnny does exist, so the real mystery is what has happened to him and why. In one scene, Vicky goes to question a person whom she is certain will confirm that her brother was with her at the hotel . . . only to see that person literally fly away in a hot air balloon as a frantic Vicky tries to push her way to the front of an admiring crowd. I wish that the movie had done a bit more to leverage the claustrophobia of the large crowds, the “stranger in a strange land” feeling of it, and the impressive visuals of the Fair itself.

Merely from a suspense standpoint, the first half of the film is the strongest as everyone in the hotel ruthlessly gaslights Vicky, trying to get her to believe that her memory of her brother is merely a delusion. Vicky repeatedly goes to different characters, asking them to confirm their memory of her brother----and when they refuse it can be hard to tell the difference between those who are deliberately deceiving her and those who honestly just don’t remember.

The second half of the film, as Vicky and George continue their investigation, is a bit more predictable. If you were a child of the 80s/90s and read a certain entry from the “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” books, you will actually know exactly how this story plays out. But you know what? Who cares? The fun is all in seeing the elaborate nature of the cover-up and watching Vicky and George attempt to unravel it. Bogarde and Simmons have a sweet, easy chemistry that lets the second half double as a romance without feeling tacky. (Finding love is great, but when a family member has possibly been kidnapped/killed, it seems a bit insensitive, no?) Simmons, in portraying Vicky’s feelings toward George, really captures the sheer relief of being believed.

While it feels like it’s content to coast instead of swinging for the fences, this is nonetheless an engaging thriller with very endearing lead characters.

Crawlspace, 2022

Robert (Henry Thomas) is an out--of-work plumber who is called out to do a job on a remote home in the woods. Needing the money, Robert agrees and heads out to the isolated house. But while Robert is in the crawlspace under the house, he witnesses the homeowner being murdered by Sterling (Bradley Stryker) and Dooley (C. Ernst Hath) and realizes that a duffel bag full of cash in the crawlspace is what they are after.

This is a mediocre action-thriller, albeit one with a game cast.

There are few things as vicariously embarrassing as watching a movie attempt to generate a buzzy catchphrase. Many times during this movie, one character will ask another, “Who is he?” in reference to Robert, to which the other person replies, “He’s the plumber.” It’s not exactly Liam Neeson’s infamous “set of skills,” and these moments only serve to amplify the gap between what this movie is and the kind of flick it wants to be.

For the most part, this movie spins its wheels. Robert tries some way to escape the crawlspace, gets into a confrontation with the killers, and manages to fend them off. Over and over. Now, while it’s true that I’ve never had to get a human person out of a crawlspace under my home, there were so many times that I felt just a little baffled at how hard two full grown adults were finding it to extricate a single wounded individual.

And while Robert undergoes his ordeal, his wife, Carrie (Olivia Taylor Dudley) finds herself teaming up with local police officer Jordan (Jennifer Robertson) and FBI investigator Helen (Catherine Lough Haggquist) to discover how Carrie’s company is connected to someone poaching trees in the local old growth forest. Robertson in particular has some of the best line deliveries in the movie, with her take on a very midwest-nice accent.

I was probably most charmed by the chemistry and humor between the women as they try and follow the money----we know where the money has ended up!---using a mix of accounting skills, interrogation skills, and good old fashioned legwork. What few surprises that are to be had in this film come from their investigation, as all the while we know that someone must be crooked . . . but who?

What most lacks here are any great action sequences, and this is where you really feel the budget of the movie. There is some decent gore resulting from the skirmishes between Robert and the bad guys, but nothing truly memorable or super well staged.

A time-passer, but ultimately forgettable.

I haven't seen The Muppet Movie since I was a child either, and reading about all the stuff and big-name stars that wouldn't have registered back then has me pretty eager to watch it again after all these years.

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Muppet Movie holds up.

I haven't watched The Muppet Movie since I was in high school and I used to babysit for a 6-year old kid who loved it and wanted to watch it every night. Back then, I saw it many times, and I loved it.

It's on my list to rewatch for the Musicals countdown, and if it's as good as I remember it to be, it has a good chance of making my list.

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If I answer a game thread correctly, just skip my turn and continue with the game.
OPEN FLOOR.

Heck, three years ago I wouldn't have recognized Paul Williams!

I also really like Muppet Movie, in spite of family films generally not being in my wheelhouse.

New York, I Love You, 2008

In this anthology film, various characters meet and interact in a series of stories all set in New York City.

Scattered and uncompelling, this film is a slog with a mere handful of worthwhile moments.

The overall quality of the segments of this film is pretty variable, but it is worth noting just how awful the opening sequence is. Terrible hat wearing Ben fancies himself a smooth grifter. He gets into a battle of the lame alpha males with Garry (Andy Garcia), all to impress Molly (Rachel Bilson). It’s hard to say if the acting or the writing that’s more at fault, but I found this segment painful to watch. The poor lighting and uninspired, too-close camerawork just baffled me.

And after this inauspicious start, things ramble on with the occasional highlight being mostly surrounded by total clunkers.

There were three segments that didn’t make me want to reach for the fast-forward button. My favorite segment was directed by, of all people, Brett Ratner. Anton Yelchin (RIP, still hard to see him in things) plays a young man whose girlfriend has just split with him. The owner of the local corner store (James Caan) seizes on the opportunity to set the kid up with his daughter (Olivia Thrilby). While initially dismayed to discover that the young woman is in a wheelchair, the two have a memorable and surprising night out together. It’s nothing amazing, but the performances are fun and the story comes to a funny conclusion.

I also enjoyed Mira Nair’s segment, featuring Irrfan Khan and Natalie Portman as precious gem dealers hashing out a sale. The writing is just so-so, but Khan is always such a warm presence and Portman brings a nice vulnerability to her role as a woman who is about to be married and clearly feeling some ambivalence about how her life is about to change.

Finally, in the last third of the film we get Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachmen as an elderly couple, lovingly bickering as they walk through the city. There’s an ease to this segment that is noticeably lacking in the rest of the film, which in comparison feels incredibly contrived.

But while these segments are nice, they do not really compensate for the rest of the movie. I felt vicariously embarrassed watching actors I really like---Ethan Hawke, Chris Cooper, Maggie Q, Christina Ricci---trying to navigate some truly cliched and cringe-inducing dialogue and scenarios. Watching Hawke’s character, a writer, arrogantly and graphically trying to pick up Maggie Q’s character when he spots her out walking was painful. The “twist” in this segment is a total cliche and it feels like a waste of the time of everyone involved.

Honestly, around the time Shia LaBeouf showed up as a limping, strongly-accented bellboy, I was struggling to pay attention. It feels like everyone got an e-mail telling them that they were filming a movie tomorrow and they all just dashed out these underwhelming skits. And despite the title of the film, this movie didn’t feel at all like New York City was a character or integral to the plot. The segment with Khan and Portman maybe comes closest, celebrating the way that two very different ethnic communities can overlap, but that’s about it.

I strongly disliked watching this film, and the few bright moments were not worth the slog. Given some of the people they had in the cast, the only word I can use is “unacceptable.”

my childhood movie

I can definitely see it being a childhood favorite!

yes! hopefully they dont remake it