Things that annoy you...

Did you tell them the good news that their puppy will be obstreperous until it’s two years old?

Two years seems like a conservative estimate.

I told them to exercise their dog a lot and to work with a professional trainer and/or dog behaviorist.

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That I have no energy for anything and just feel so terrified and hopeless all the time. I work out twice a day at this point because that does distract me, sometimes three times, so I can’t do any more than that, but I’m still completely depleted and incapable of action. Look at things that need to be done for work and just… don’t do them. I’m so very done with everything.

It sounds as if you need a break and/or a doctors appointment. Maybe both?

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Thank you. Yes, both.

Sounds like depression. I was feeling very down at the beginning of the year. I have been waiting to snap out of it because I am already on a lot of anti-depressants. Luckily, I snapped out of it. I try to monitor the information I come upon. We know too much nowadays. And so are emotionally responding to toomany dramas. I hope this helps a little.

Thank you. It does help. Yes, you’re completely right. My role is media- and public affairs-focused. My previous one was even more so, so I’d have to read the news 24/7. This one is a bit better, but I still have awful habits and can’t really disconnect. I’m trying to learn.

In terms of ‘depression’… oh, boy. My mother had clinical depression for a few years when I was about 10/11. It was awful. She wouldn’t get out of bed, I’d have to cook for her, do everything, tell her encouraging bullshit in the morning like a mantra.

I’m not like that now. I get up early, I work out a lot, I eat healthy, I see friends (which I try to enjoy but don’t always succeed). I see my therapist weekly. But yeah, sometimes things just totally knock me out and nothing can be done about that.

I do hope I just snap out of it.

January has been a monster so far. I frickin hate this month.

Have you ever thought of volunteer work? (Why do I think I already asked this question?) I find volunteer work very therapeutic.

Of course I love spending money, but I told the sales clerk in one store who is a friend of mine that winter depresses me & I’ll come back in the spring. Unusual for me to blurt out something like this, but there’s ice everywhere & it’s terrifying. Exactly a year ago I broke my wrist on frozen white ice.

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So annoyed. Could have sworn I cancelled Netflix. Wondered why they kept sending me recommendations so checked to make sure I’d cancelled. Turns out I hadn’t so paid for a month of nothing.

Money-wise, yeah, I relate. Try to spend less these days. And I, too, have had moments of spontaneously saying something like that to a cinema usher or a waiter or whatnot. It happens, and winter is bloody depressing. Ice is very dangerous. I’m always more worried about driving/my car slipping. I was in another car accident this morning which had nothing to do with ice, have a split lip but otherwise perfectly fine, but yeah, that’s even more of a fear now.

You did ask it, yes. I do work with children, though I don’t like to talk about it here for various reasons. I visit a church next door helping kids there with different activities. But all that is a mixed bag because if anything, I feel it’s my negativity/issues rubbing off on others on occasion.

This reminds me of the 2016 film Christine where she goes to a support group of some sort and is told to ‘adjust her expectations’ (and then of course ends up committing suicide).

I suppose there are different forms of volunteering. I do spend as much time as I can around horses and kids and donate to these causes. I don’t know if you enjoy Palahniuk’s work/if you’ve ever read/seen anything of his beyond Fight Club. I connect with his stuff on so many levels and have always been interested in the fact he’s worked with addicts in recovery and hospice patients (not the fact itself but how his portrayal of these things is tragicomic, cynical and decidedly not ‘inspirational’). There’s a lot of focus on how that affects the self in his work, and I’ve always found that interesting. Because I used to have health issues, I still have immense health anxiety. That severely limits how much I can engage with anything like this. I’ve actually looked into it years and years ago, but due to whatever psychological issues I have, being near ill people sends me into a doom spiral of absolute terror and I begin to obsessively see doctors and other less than sane stuff. So in my experience, that sort of volunteering has never helped me. I did always work with kids everywhere I lived (Greece, France, U.K.).

Some of my family members and a few other people in my immediate vicinity have been affected by the Ukraine war, so in a way the last 3 years for me have been non-stop volunteering and sorting things for other people, helping them get settled, find work, do the work that they are paid to do and I’m not (!!!!), translating for them, and much much more. The things I had to do to get some of them to move to the U.K. are genuinely unspeakable. They are all older than me, but now I feel like I have kids even though I don’t. I am ****ing tired, I don’t want to help anyone anymore.

I don’t know how this is meant to work for people better suited to this kind of thing, or in Palahniuk’s universe, but if anything, it’s exacerbating my anxiety and making me feel worse. Now on top of being terrified of cancer, I’m terrified of nuclear war and all naturalisations/acquired citizenships being taken away in Europe and the US (a large part of my family is comprised of naturalised citizens). All of which is to say, I’m very aware that this is something people do to feel more grounded/obtain perspective on life/‘banish stupid thoughts’, but as far as I can tell, it emphatically doesn’t work for me (at this stage in my life, at least). The overarching point being that I don’t want feel even worse, I don’t want to think about people in Ukraine/Palestine/the homeless/the sick who are worse off than me, I’m already living in perpetual terror of illness and death and feel somewhat aware of the injustice and horror in the world, and I just don’t feel it would do me any good to focus on it any more than I already do.

or maybe this is happening...

The number of people who see this sign at my work and say "You don't take credit cards?!"
That's not what the sign says. We'd go out of business if we didn't take any credit cards.

And the number of people who follow that stupid question up by asking "What is Care Credit?" Does it matter? We don't accept it, so why do I need to explain to you what it is? Google it if you want to know.

@Agrippina Have you read Chuck Pah....k's Adjustment Day. This is the ultimate novel about America since 2016. It's a wild ride.

Oof, just about to inquire the meaning of “care credit”, but don’t dare to do so now.

Metronet

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Health anxiety for people who've experienced very bad/life threatning health is a real problem, in part because telling you it won't/almost certainly won't happen doesn't help because it has already, but it is something you can work on/get help with. It may also be that you don't have health anxiety per se, but a general anxiety about your wellbeing/safety which, naturally, will include the kind of things you mentioned and it's that which you need the help with?

This is an awful lot to be dealing with and/or to have dealt with. There is only so much you can do and there is only so much that any human can cope with before compassion fatigue becomes a real problem or it becomes 'normal' to the point you don't really remember what 'normal' looked or felt like. Obviously this isn't a diagnosis but it's no wonder you're burnt out, in need of a rest and struggling with your mental health. I don't know how much alone time you get or if it helps, but it does feel as if you need to be trying to do more for you and making yourself feel better, more secure and just enjoying something small and trying to live in the moment so your head isn't filled with whatever's running around in it.


If it's not helping/working then try to stop doing it or do it less. You have to focus on yourself and keeping yourself well otherwise you won't be able to be there for others even if you want to be. Being aware of thinking about world issues/problems you can't fix won't do you any good at all, IMO. As much as you can limit your exposure to current affairs, SM, newspaper etc as it will help no end. It sounds as if this is something you can't do completely, and that's almost certainly not necessary, but if you can limit even a little, it might help.

There's lots of things which people say 'are good for you/good things to do' so try them and, if they don't work for you/help, drop them and try something else. Not doing them doesn't make you bad or anything, it just means it's not for you or not now anyway.

I hope today is a better day.

Thank you for the rec — just bought it.

Thank you for the positivity.

Today is a bit better. On your first point — oh, indeed. I once told my therapist I find the word ‘anxiety’ perplexing, because frankly everything I’m concerned about is very possible and imminent (this was more to do with the geopolitics at the time, but applies more broadly), whereas ‘anxiety’ somewhat implies it’s irrational/exaggerated.

But yes, I’m trying to just do the things I enjoy, mainly reading/films/fitness. I’m now entirely indifferent to my job, which is a blessing, in that regard I feel a profound sense of calm so hey, that’s something. I went out with my best friend this weekend, and that was amazing, I didn’t even do anything asocial, heh. So here’s to the small wins.

WTF! I have lost my winter hat, my work keys and my tax documents in the last few days. I have looked all over. I imagine they under something. Not the same thing mind you. I’m getting tired of looking.

When I lose something, I try to remember the last place that I saw it, then I act as if I'm putting it away. Usually I end up finding it in the same place that I actually put it away.

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