A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

I'm rewatching The Menu and it is SO FUNNY.

Like, the taco section alone:

--"What is this?!"
--"These are tortillas."

--"Who is this woman?!" *holds up laser engraved tortilla*

Hong Chau is a deadpan goddess.

--"Freedom will never be granted by the oppressor, but must be taken by the oppressed"
--"Did he just quote Martin Luther King?"
--"Yes, yes he did."

--"Did you tell them it was my birthday?"
--"Seemed funny three hours ago."

--"You: where did you go to school?"
--"Brown."
--"Student loans?"
--"No."
--"Yeah,

The “Tyler’s Bullshit” title card killed me.

I really enjoyed the movie when I saw it in the theater. But, you know, theater magic often adds up to a whole star in my rating.

But honestly I enjoyed it even more this time around.

Blade II. The last time I saw this was in theaters back when I was a teenager. Didn’t really like it then but had a lot more fun this time around. The early 2000s post-Matrix aesthetic can seem dated for a lot of movies but works surprisingly well for this world. And with a supporting cast featuring Norman Reedus, Donnie Yen and the Perl Man himself how can you go wrong?
Of course the real star of the show is, well the literal star of the film. Wesley Snipes is undeniable in this role. In fact he’s so cool and confident it’s almost a detriment to the rest of the movie. No matter how menacing the new breed of vampires are set up as I’m still sitting here saying to myself, “These scrubs are no match for Blade. He’s gonna rip through them like tissue paper!” And while the first flick uses its set pieces more sparingly this one is almost non-stop action, to the point where my eyes were starting to hurt during the final fight. So yeah, good time.

The vampire movie that had to reinvent its vampires because the original recipe turned out to be a bit lame and tame.

The other night I was trying to get to sleep, knew I wanted to put on something horror but not too terrible, obviously. Then the next morning, I was like, "What did I watch last night?", and all I could remember was thinking "I hope I'm asleep before all the screaming starts."

Anyway, obviously I was watching Dolls. If you haven't seen Dolls, please get on it. I will never cease to be delighted by the infantilization of Stephen Lee's character, Ralph, so that all the time he spends running around with the little girl (including her coming into his bedroom) can stay innocent and pure.

An absolute masterpiece.

__________________

Blade: Trinity. I’ve never seen this before because everyone said it was bad. And it’s pretty bad, but not unwatchable. Snipes sleepwalks his way through the third installment and you can’t blame him since there’s not much to his character this time around, especially when Blade bizarrely navigates law enforcement agencies and other federal institutions in the first act.
It’s amusing to see Ryan Reynolds doing his schtick all the way back in 2004 and everyone treats Jessica Biel like some unknowable alien because she’s hot. Dominic Purcell gives more nightclub bouncer vibes than the mythical Dracula while Natasha Lyonne and Patton Oswalt hang out in the background waiting to get killed off. The movie fluctuates between looking like a big Hollywood production in one scene then low budget made-for-TV trash the next. Not quite the ungodly nightmare I was expecting but I’m sure I’ll forget all about it after a couple weeks.

The first nepo baby?

I've said it before and my opinion hasn't changed. Gordon probably made better films, but Dolls might be my favorite.

Excellent question. I'm trying to think of someone before him.

Wait, do I seriously need to watch Dolls?

Yes. It's also what would probably constitute as a Wooley October movie.

Man, I keep putting Dolls off. Should I finally just watch it? More likely I’ll put it off for another year.

Fascinating. At first, I wasn't sure if Tak was serious or not. Now it seems like this is a matter that requires my attention.

So when I say that Dolls is my favorite Gordon film it's important to remember that I don't love his Lovecraft stuff as much as some of you do. So factor that into my recommendation.

It's the one most relevant to my interests, to put it another way.

I like Re-Animator and From Beyond more, but Dolls has a fun, something to show to slightly older kids (like crossover between kids to tweens) around Halloween, scary stories to tell in the dark kind of energy/vibe going on for it.