You just know its gonna be a bad movie when...

...the microphone is visible on top of the actor.

When the theater is packed, and you are in the midst of the loudest talkiest oblivious a-holes in the place.

You know its gonna be bad when Michael Bay is directing it or Keanu Reeves is the guiding dialogue throughout it. George Lucas included.

You know its gonna be a bad movie when an hour into it you look at your watch and 14 minutes have gone by.

My friend says when he doesnt want a cigarrette while in the theater its a good movie, but if he wants one or his butt starts to hurt in the seat its a bad one.

...when you're laughing a lot and it is not a comedy.

...lovers are running at each other in slow motion.

...even the nude bedroom scenes are boring.

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It reminds me of a toilet paper on the trees
- Paula

What if a visible microphone is played for laughs?

The second one doesn't really count, that's just an unfortunate cinematic experience that bears no relevance to a movie's quality.

Swipes at George Lucas and Keanu Reeves are a little too easy, too, though at least you specified "guiding dialogue" for Reeves, which makes some sort of sense. Michael Bay, on the other hand, I can't really defend him since the only one of his films I actually liked was The Rock.

Also, I know it's going to be a bad movie when Servo screams that we've got "movie sign".

Iro knows how to ruin a thread.

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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews

Is that all it takes to ruin a thread these days?

Most threads nowadays are ruined after the first post.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

Tell me about it.

...when Ashton Kutcher rears his goofy head.

Is it me or does saying "You know it's going to be a bad movie because (insert actor/writer/director/etc here) is involved" seem like an easy answer?

Not saying it isn't true, of course. I'm just hoping for something better than potshots at the creative vacuum of choice.

How can a movie be good if it has Ashton Kutcher?

Two and a Half Men is going to suck big time.

What else is new?

When it's going to be in 3D for the sake of being in 3D.

When you can work out the progression of the entire plot (or close enough to it) just by watching the trailer.

When someone sits infront of you with a big head. ( Not a Bad movie, but a bad watch)

When its a comedy and you don't laugh.

Like Sunset Blvd.?

"Is it me or does saying "You know it's going to be a bad movie because (insert actor/writer/director/etc here) is involved" seem like an easy answer?

Not saying it isn't true, of course. I'm just hoping for something better than potshots at the creative vacuum of choice."

Fair enough, it was a cheapshot and an easy joke (such as it was), I'll give you that. And normally I would try not to criticize or make fun but man that guy really irritates me for some reason and there is nothing he has ever done that I have liked. To the point where the second he pops up on screen I turn off the TV or change the channel. I stand by my cheap potshot.

......When it's a prequel and the actors are all older.

......When it's a Romantic Comedy.

......When Matthew Mcconhaughy is in it.

......When the original Director has abandoned the story but someone else takes it on. (Terminator 3 and 4)

......When Adam Sandler is in it.

......When Harrison Ford is in it.

......When Empire film magazine gives the film 2 stars or less.

......When M.Night.Shyamalan is directing.

......When the movie is copying other films. (example films copying the slow motion bullet from the Matrix but without any context as to why the bullet would be in slow motion).

......When Jet Li/Jackie Chan make Hollywood movies rather than sticking to Chinese films.

Im sure there ae many more reasons I could think of.

...the starring actress' main claim to fame is a sex video with her boyfriend.

LOL. Thats not true, I enjoyed watching parts of "Barb Wire" many many, many times.

This might be the crappiest list in this thread.

How about, you know it's going to be crappy when it has a 25% or less on Rotten Tomatoes.

Sometimes the microphone shows up at the top of the screen because the projectionist doesn't project the film at the right aspect ratio. Not the filmmakers fault. Plus, you won't see this in modern film because the microphone is digitally erased when it shows up.

Keanu is the lead in The Matrix, The Bill and Ted movies, Point Break, My Own Private Idaho, Speed, and A Scanner Darkly. I don't think those films suck.

I know at least one George Lucas directed film that doesn't suck.

However, I agree with the Michael Bay statement. And, no, The Rock is not good or even a decent film. It's just as s***ty as his other films. It has a fire spout furnace scene that looks like something out of a cheesy bad Star Trek episode.

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