JayDee's Movie Musings

Yeah, well, I'm here now.

Besides, you've had 13 years to watch and review Quills. I also highly recommend Sam Raimi's The Quick and the Dead.

As for Z, that's easy: Zodiac

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Great reviews, as usual, Jaydee. As you know, I have a strong affection for the action genre, and you have given some of my favourites fantastic reviews. I particularly like your one for Demolition Man. Being that I don't really count the Rocky's, Rambo's or Expendables as pure Stallone movies and put them off into their own realm, Demolition Man is right behind Cliffhanger as my favourite Stallone film.

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"George, this is a little too much for me. Escaped convicts, fugitive sex... I've got a cockfight to focus on."

Still with the big dumb action films but I've taken a brief turn into the 80s as I've been wanting to revisit this one for quite some time











Plot - John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is a retired Special Forces commando who now lives in a secluded home with his young daughter Jenny (Milano). Matrix is about to be forced out of his retirement however by very nefarious means. At the behest of his employer, a former soldier who served under Matrix's command named Bennett (Wells) kidnaps his daughter to force Matrix's hand. Bennett's employer is an exiled dictator of South American country, Val Verde. Matrix was actually the man who helped to overthrow him, and now he is going to be forced to kill the new President of Val Verde or else his daughter will die at Bennett's hand. Matrix has a plan of his own however. He escapes off of the plane which is supposed to take him to Val Verde and sets about hunting down the men responsible and finding his daughter.

I don't know why but for some reason I just can't warm to Commando in any great manner. I mean it should be right up my street. Hell it should be just about my favourite movie of all time! As is pretty obvious to anyone who has been following my Movie Musings thread for a while I have a great affinity for the action genre. I also have a lot of love for films that are high on the cheese factor, and am a big fan of the cinematic output of the 'Austrian Oak', aka Arnold Schwarzenegger. And yet even with all those ingredients in its favour, I still can't generate a great deal of love for Commando, one of the most popular efforts amongst many of Arnie's fans. It seems to me like a lot of people would have this on their Mount Rushmore of action films alongside the likes of Die Hard, Terminator 2, Enter the Dragon, Predator, Lethal Weapon, The Matrix etc. But I just don't really see it. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it but just don't see it as one of the all-time classic entries in the genre.

As for Schwarzenegger himself, well he certainly wasn't cast for his acting talent. While he has never been a great actor, even by his standards he is fairly clunky in this film, coming as it did fairly early in his career. His level of emoting is truly shocking! During the moment where the baddies are threatening his daughter and holding a knife to her throat, Arnie's reaction is just this glum face that would be a more appropriate fit for something much more trivial, such as someone shrunk his favourite shirt! And while the one-liners that he delivers throughout the film are good fun, and arguably provide the film's highlights, I imagine that they haven't quite got the same pop to them as they would later in his career. But as I said he wasn't hired for his acting. He was hired purely on the basis of his physique and the screen presence that he undoubtedly has. And the film itself makes this perfectly clear. When the character is introduced we don't actually see his face right away. First we get a number of close-up shots focusing on his rippling muscles as we see him carrying a chainsaw over one shoulder, and a huge log over the other. We then see the character chopping wood just to establish beyond any doubt that this is the manliest, most macho man that has ever existed on this planet! There are a lot of threads on this board discussing and ranking the favourite superhero films of the board's members. Well Commando should probably come into the discussion as Arnie's Matrix seems very much like a superhero, complete with incredible superhuman strength. See how he rips a car seat out with ease; how he effortlessly tips a car over; how he busts a steel padlock with his bare hands and best of all see how he lifts up a phone booth with David Patrick Kelly inside and just tosses it aside as if it weighed nothing at all. There's a police officer in the film who at one point perfectly sums up Schwarzenegger's appeal and why he was cast in this movie; it's because “he is one gigantic motherf*cker!”

Similar to Die Hard, one thing the film succeeds in is making a number of its villains very colourful and memorable. They aren't exactly the most fleshed out of characters so much reliance is placed purely upon their appearance. So the exceptionally intimidating presence of Bill Duke as Cooke, and David Patrick Kelly as the slimy, weasely Sully are both put to very good use. Of course what we have to talk about Bennett, portrayed by Vernon Wells. As much loved as the character is amongst film fans, he surely has to be the worst movie villain of all time! First up there is of course his appearance, very much that of a Village People reject. Chainmail vest, leather trousers and a handlebar moustache - let's just say it's a distinctive look! In fact he looks exactly like a chunky Freddie Mercury! And Wells plays him in such a weedy, pathetic manner; really just about the least intimidating villain I've ever come across.

Film Trivia Snippets - Vernon Wells actually wasn't the original actor cast for the character of Bennett. He did audition for the role but lost out to another actor. On the first day of filming, director Mark L. Lester fired the actor that had been hired and brought Wells in. That's actually the reason why Bennett's clothes appear so tight; Wells was bigger than the original actor and the production didn't have time to make a new costume. /// In 1986, Steven E. de Souza wrote a sequel to Commando which was revised as Frank Darabont with the intention of having John McTiernan direct. The script was based on the novel 'Nothing Lasts Forever' but Schwarzenegger wasn't interested in returning to the character. The script was then reworked with a new central character, eventually becoming Die Hard. /// The original script was written by Jeph Loeb with the intention of having Gene Simmons plays Matrix but he passed on it. Loeb then rewrote the script with Nick Nolte in mind. /// Throughout the production Arnold Schwarzenegger worked with Michael M. Vendrell, a martial arts expert and fight choreographer. At the end of filming Vendrell estimated that Schwarzenegger had attained a level comparable to a second degree black belt. /// I had just talked about the big shootout at Aruis' complex above and was all set to say that it seemed exactly like the big shootout in Beverly Hills Cop. Well there's a good reason for that; it's the same mansion! It is the former Harold Lloyd estate in Beverly Hills and stood in as Victor Maitland's mansion which Axel Foley & co invaded at the film's finale.

As fun as the character of Bennett is for all these eccentricities there is a potentially troublesome aspect to it. While it's never explicitly addressed at any point during the course of the film, the Bennett character certainly does have a strong homosexual vibe to him; not just in the form of his clothes and his fey manner, but his apparent relationship with Arnie's Matrix. In their showdown at the film's climax their certainly seems to be some kind of attraction for the character on the side of Bennett, evidenced in the talk about sticking him with a knife and the weird, what the f*ck facial expressions of Bennett which make it look like he's having an orgasm or something. And opposite him, as I outlaid earlier Matrix is just about the most macho person that has ever lived. And so by having the macho, manly character defeat the camp, apparently gay character is there some sort of homophobic element going on there? Oh and I did enjoy the addition of Rae Dawn Chong as the character of Cindy. Initially I found her to be a tad irritating as she moaned and wailed her way through the action but eventually I found her quite sweet as we see that she acts as conduit of sorts for the audience, reflecting our thoughts and commenting on how ridiculous the whole thing is in a rather tongue in cheek manner; “I can't believe this macho bulls*it!”

When it comes to action Commando certainly has more than its fair share. In fact it seems to have the share of about three films worth. And you certainly can't accuse it of being a slow starter. Within the first four minutes we have already witnessed three people meet their demise at the hands of Bill Duke's Cooke (well only two as it turns out). And from then on Commando presents quite the relentless slew of violence on its way to a humongous body count, only letting up for the occasional breather. Although I've got to say that very little of it truly thrilled me. It's all rather conventional and hackneyed, presenting very little that we haven't seen countless times before. And it seems really quite repetitive; the big shootout on the grounds of Arius' home being particularly culpable on that front. We seem to watch him blasting guys away for an age. There are a couple of entertaining set-pieces and sequences however. Matrix's shopping mall fight with Sully certainly being one of them as we see Arnie tossing Sully around like a ragdoll and then flying through the air in pursuit of him. Matrix's escape off the plane is also rather good fun as he makes his way out of the bottom and hangs on to the wheel as it begins to ascend, eventually jumping off into a swamp below.

I've got to say though that I found the fight with Bennett to a bit of an underwhelming climax. The camp and cheesy touches aside which I detailed earlier, it's a rather slow and clumsy affair as we see the two men lumbering about, quite clearly pulling their punches and missing their kicks by a considerable distance. As an actual piece of action I found it rather flat. It's a sequence that is saved only by that camp, cheesy nature and some preposterous but highly amusing dialogue; “Let off some steam.” In fact I feel that the film as a whole gets by and lives on just a few moments, some of which are admittedly great and usually occur when one Matrix takes out one of the villains. So for example the death of Sully (“I lied”) and the death on board the plane (“He's dead tired”).

There's no doubt that the film is cheesed out to the max. My favourite moment on this front I think would have to be the montage that plays over the opening credits and sees Matrix and his daughter bonding as they eat ice cream, go fishing and rather superbly, hand-feed a deer. It's so cheesy and daft, and feels like it could work perfectly as the credit sequence for some corny family sitcom of the 80s. Just play the Family Ties theme over the top of it and it's a perfect fit; particularly with the moment where young Alyssa Milano sticks her ice cream cone in Arnie's face as he gives a big goofy laugh and a sort of “oh you!” look. The whole film looks and feels really quite cheap. Appearance-wise it just doesn't have the normal cinematic sheen you'd expect to find of a big-screen film. It actually looks much more like a TV production of the era, something in the A-Team vicinity. In fact there's a moment where Arnie goes into a shed to shelter from the bad guys, and I was expecting him to pull an old A-Team style trick and construct some kind of weapon or vehicle out of the tools and items scattered about it. What he does do however is use a saw blade to slice the tip off of a guy's head; that was pretty cool. The only thing missing from the film to complete the A-Team vibe is Mr T. In fact why the hell did Arnie and Mr T never team up for a buddy movie in the 80s? That would have been awesome!

Conclusion - I understand that even people who love this film don't think it's necessarily 'good.' But even as a so bad it's good guilty pleasure I still can't truly love it. It's an easy watch and I still find a good bit of enjoyment in here but that's it. In my eyes Commando is a film which gets by and lives on the strength of just a few moments, and without the presence of Arnie keeping the film in the spotlight I imagine the amount of love for it would be immensely diminished. Without him this would likely have been completely forgotten about, appearing only on DVD as some cheap 4-in-1 multi-pack alongside three other cheap, TV movie style actioners. Given my amount of criticisms of the film the score may seem a little high but I think you have to take into account who it is that's reviewing it here. Me giving a bombastic action 'classic' a mere 3/5 is like Guap not liking a Miyazaki film; Daniel only rating a P.T. Anderson as a

; HK not liking a Drew Barrymore film! There are certainly much better films in Arnie's resume (Terminator, Terminator 2, Total Recall) and I also think that in terms of cheesy, pun-heavy efforts there are films more deserving of the cult following that Commando has acquired over the years; The Running Man for example. Now that is an awesome film!

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Aw, it's a shame you don't love this, JD. I've not seen The Running Man in forever, but while I always really liked it, I don't know if I ever loved it and I certainly didn't love it like I do Commando.

However, there's nothing in your criticism that I can really disagree with. It's just that I love it for those reasons.

I adore that line and the actors delivery of it.

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5-time MoFo Award winner.

I wonder if you are ever going to get sick of this pic?

In all seriousness, I love Commando, I give it a . But it is hard to agrue against it flaws. Of which there are many. Now a movie like The Running Man is a better Arnie movie. Better one liners, better production design, a better supporting actress, much better supporting characters, and a MUCH better villain. But Commando is literally so over the top and cheesy I cannot help but love it!

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

A friend of mine and I always rib each other about liking a specific Arnie film. I take the piss out of him for thinking so highly of Predator, while he does the same to me about Commando. It's actually our 'go to' insult whenever one of us disagrees about what the other says about a film the other likes.

I actually think I like Commando better than Predator or The Running Man. But I am a fan of all three.

Of course you do. You're normal.

And I'm very pleased to have you here.

For Z I was actually thinking the Sean Connery-starring Zardoz! Apologies to all the eyes that will be damaged by the following image


Well clearly you haven't seen Demolition Man as that's a fantastic film!!!

So you drop by to basically say the films of late have been crap and to demand better films. And yet you do so with a clip from Evan Almighty?!!!

So how long is the Magnolia backlash gonna last?

Oh well at least we have you to come along and class the place up!

Thanks Tyler. Always nice to have you stop by. And yeah I've got a vague recollection of you perhaps being a little bit of a fan of action movies.

Don't do Zardoz! It's for your own good.

Own Zardoz one of those guilty pleasures

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

I know. I really want to love it and don't understand why I don't. I had actually only seen it once before that recent viewing and while I didn't remember much I remembered that I wasn't all that amazed by it. I was hoping my memory was either incorrect or that this time I'd see something I missed last time. Sadly not. Hopefully one day I'll watch it and it will just click, "Oh this awesome! How did I not see this before?"

Well not so far, still puts a smile on my face each time. Especially as it was the only bit of praise my Commando review got!

I had actually been going to comment on how taken you seem to be with the pic. And as such I thought I'd make up some more that other people may like to adopt.

Well, no. I haven't seen most of the recent ones, so substitute "bad" for "Skepsis hasn't seen them". You know I'm only joking.

One of the great misunderstood masterpieces of our generation.

Until you admit you're wrong and give it the it deserves.

I have created something for Skepsis to use in this thread, so he doesn't feel left out...

From now on... I'm using this whenever JayDee reviews anything.

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JayDee and Skepsis.

Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, he eats you.

Oh please, enough with the Big Lebowski references! What a horribly overrated film!

Oh yeah and I kind of forgot at the time but my Commando review pushed me past meatwadsprite in terms of number of posts. In terms of posts this is now the biggest, longest running reviews thread on here I think. Unless I've made a mistake or overlooked some thread