A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

Haha, I was actually going to float that idea as penance. We'll definitely ride it because it's the best one there!

Last time we rode it, the ride got stuck, so we were sitting still in the blacklit darkness for ten minutes. It was awesome.

Deschain, you're right. This is the most wonderful time of the year!

Except...I'm vacationing in Orlando next week. I'm excited about it, but I feel bad that I won't get to see as much horror this month. Priorities, huh?

Go to The Haunted Mansion to make up for it.

Willy's Wonderland -

Life is like a Nicolas Cage performance as much as it's like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get. You probably didn't expect him to be an energy drink addict, a pinball wizard, a gearhead and nonverbal when you chose to watch this, did you? Whether you did or not, Cage is just who he needs to be in this silly and bloody curiosity. Does his choice to make the janitor never speak lead to awkward moments, even for him? Sure, but since our Five Nights at Freddy's adjacent/knockoffs/what have you denizens' home is in the title and not his, it makes sense in its own way. While none of the villains are exactly original creations, they are distinctive, have unique abilities, and most importantly, each one made me laugh. In other words, if I had to boil this movie down to four words, it would be Demons meets Mortal Kombat. The claustrophobia in the former is a reason why it's a favorite and it's a main draw here as well. It's also nice to see Beth Grant, who plays a not so honest police officer, especially since she's at her funniest. Emoi's driving soundtrack is also killer and helps to keep things moving at just the right pace.

Even though our hero does not say anything, I don't think it's wrong to complain about this movie not having much quotable dialogue. Only Beth Grant's cop is allowed a few zingers. It would have been a lot cooler if the writer granted the janitor's teenage allies some memorable lines as well, not to mention more personality. Despite these drawbacks, the movie practically reeks of Halloween - well, that and rotting pizza - and it's an ideal choice to kick off a horror marathon or movie portion of a Halloween party. If that's all you are looking for, it will check your boxes, but don't expect it to do more than that.

Willy's Wonderland -

Life is like a Nicolas Cage performance as much as it's like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get. You probably didn't expect him to be an energy drink addict, a pinball wizard, a gearhead and nonverbal when you chose to watch this, did you? Whether you did or not, Cage is just who he needs to be in this silly and bloody curiosity. Does his choice to make the janitor never speak lead to awkward moments, even for him? Sure, but since our Five Nights at Freddy's adjacent/knockoffs/what have you denizens' home is in the title and not his, it makes sense in its own way.

What I was expecting from Willie's Wonderland was Nic Cage fighting murderous animatronics and when I got Nic Cage fighting murderous animatronics, it was good. Every time someone else was on screen and usually talking, I was disappointed (by the quality). The screenwriter wrote Cage's silent dialogue the best. (Sorry. I always groan when I remember the line, "you don't understand. He's not stuck in there with them. They're stuck in there with him," or whatever she said to that effect.


Still would recommend. Enough scenes of Nic Cage doing his character and doing it well.

That line was a cheap knockoff of the one from Watchmen. It made me imagine Jackie Earle Haley rolling his eyes.

But yeah, Cage doing his thing makes it worth seeing alone, although I like Beth Grant more than you did, especially whenever she gave her poor deputy a hard time ("grow some balls, Evan!")

It's been a couple years since I've seen it, so it's possible those interactions worked (did they also include the background story/exposition? I think would have preferred no exposition. I actually think they should have dropped the teens from the movie and did the kills as: Nic Cage discovers remaining body part, cut to flashback to person of how it got there). As alluded to in that parenthetical, the dialogue with the teens did not work.



And, "ug," is that where that line is coming from? I had a feeling it was coming from somewhere. Doesn't make it any less bad, and possibly even worse (I actually never say Snyder's adaptation. Everything I heard about it made me think I'd hate it. Plus actually seeing another Zach Snyder movie... that also made me think I'd hate it).