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Trouble with a capital "T"
The wind started blowing fiercely, as I looked to the horizon. The clouds in the distance were a strange color of red. Not like the clouds at dusk, but a deep dark red, as if the clouds were the color of wet clay. My daughter came running, tears streaming down her cheeks. I could not hear what she was saying due to the howling of the wind. Such a fierce howl, not like the sound of a tornado approaching but a harsh whistling sound. The clouds seemed to have moved closer to where we were. I began to feel drops falling like rain. It was not clear like water should be. It was red like blood. Blood falling from the sky? This was odd, now I understand why the clouds looked the way they did. I held out my hand for the rain to collect in my palm. As I put it up toward my nose, I smelled a strong sulfuric stench. A wretched smell, like the stench of Gehenna, as described in the Bible. Burning flesh and decay. Suddenly I heard my daughter scream "Daddy!?" And as I looked down into her big, blue eyes, which just flowed those tears I saw as she was running toward me, I watched this red rain began to burn and peel away the soft tender flesh of my child's face. As the rain fell, the spots burned more and more. Her screams became excruciating. The burn started exposing tissue. Such a horrible sight for a father to endure. Her screams were louder and louder. Her hair, drenched from this rain, began to fall away from her scalp. It begin to expose the same tissue and bone. She began pulling hard at her hair, her face, as if to remove this thing that was destroying her beauty.

@SpelingError @Citizen Rules
That read really well. I liked the short stiletto roll of the sentences. I think that's effective way to write. Sorta like Hemingway. I love this description, "...as if the clouds were the color of wet clay" Clouds like wet clay, that summons an ominous vision in the reader. Nicely done. Very dark too but you know why I admire that? You were not afraid to hold back and you touched on what must be strong feelings from within yourself. You're good.



That read really well. I liked the short stiletto roll of the sentences. I think that's effective way to write. Sorta like Hemingway. I love this description, "...as if the clouds were the color of wet clay" Clouds like wet clay, that summons an ominous vision in the reader. Nicely done. Very dark too but you know why I admire that? You were not afraid to hold back and you touched on what must be strong feelings from within yourself. You're good.
Thanks. I used to write all the time. I even have a Christmas horror story.

I write poetry and short stories



@Citizen Rules @SpelingError @Allaby

I sat in the chair by the fire and looked at the Christmas tree before me. The lights were blinking and all a'glow. The children and my wife were asleep comfortable in their beds. For some reason, I felt very disturbed and could not sleep. The best thing to do was relax and have a drink. Christmas always seemed to be the hardest season for the family. My mind was thinking over the things from this past year and what the upcoming year would hold. My wife was clueless about our financial situation as I was the one who controlled the finances. My gambling debt was becoming to much to hand. I had to think of a way for us to survive for the upcoming year. Next thing I knew, I heard a terrible noise from the fireplace. When I looked up, I seen a man in a red suit over 6 feet tall with white hair and a beard. His cheeks were red but there was a burning evil in his eyes. Quickly my eyes moved from that face to the ax he was holding in his hand. My eyes were wide and filled with horror as I heard him say "Merry F**king Christmas" as the ax blade swung down and entered my skull.



Trouble with a capital "T"
Thanks. I used to write all the time. I even have a Christmas horror story.

I write poetry and short stories
I remember, you showed me some of your work before. Your story reminded me of a Japanese film, Black Rain (Shôhei Imamura,1989). Have you seen that, if not it is in your wheelhouse as they say. Cricket liked it, it's dark and depressing.



I remember, you showed me some of your work before. Your story reminded me of a Japanese film, Black Rain (Shôhei Imamura,1989). Have you seen that, if not it is in your wheelhouse as they say. Cricket liked it, it's dark and depressing.
I haven't but I should check it out. Cricket and I have similar taste.



Trouble with a capital "T"
@Citizen Rules @SpelingError @Allaby

I sat in the chair by the fire and looked at the Christmas tree before me. The lights were blinking and all a'glow. The children and my wife were asleep comfortable in their beds. For some reason, I felt very disturbed and could not sleep. The best thing to do was relax and have a drink. Christmas always seemed to be the hardest season for the family. My mind was thinking over the things from this past year and what the upcoming year would hold. My wife was clueless about our financial situation as I was the one who controlled the finances. My gambling debt was becoming to much to hand. I had to think of a way for us to survive for the upcoming year. Next thing I knew, I heard a terrible noise from the fireplace. When I looked up, I seen a man in a red suit over 6 feet tall with white hair and a beard. His cheeks were red but there was a burning evil in his eyes. Quickly my eyes moved from that face to the ax he was holding in his hand. My eyes were wide and filled with horror as I heard him say "Merry F**king Christmas" as the ax blade swung down and entered my skull.
That was funny. I liked the way you kept it serious and then in the last sentence....omg!



Trouble with a capital "T"
I haven't but I should check it out. Cricket and I have similar taste.
It's very bleak, if you take one recommendation ever from me, watch that one. It's serious stuff.



The wind started blowing fiercely, as I looked to the horizon. The clouds in the distance were a strange color of red. Not like the clouds at dusk, but a deep dark red, as if the clouds were the color of wet clay. My daughter came running, tears streaming down her cheeks. I could not hear what she was saying due to the howling of the wind. Such a fierce howl, not like the sound of a tornado approaching but a harsh whistling sound. The clouds seemed to have moved closer to where we were. I began to feel drops falling like rain. It was not clear like water should be. It was red like blood. Blood falling from the sky? This was odd, now I understand why the clouds looked the way they did. I held out my hand for the rain to collect in my palm. As I put it up toward my nose, I smelled a strong sulfuric stench. A wretched smell, like the stench of Gehenna, as described in the Bible. Burning flesh and decay. Suddenly I heard my daughter scream "Daddy!?" And as I looked down into her big, blue eyes, which just flowed those tears I saw as she was running toward me, I watched this red rain began to burn and peel away the soft tender flesh of my child's face. As the rain fell, the spots burned more and more. Her screams became excruciating. The burn started exposing tissue. Such a horrible sight for a father to endure. Her screams were louder and louder. Her hair, drenched from this rain, began to fall away from her scalp. It begin to expose the same tissue and bone. She began pulling hard at her hair, her face, as if to remove this thing that was destroying her beauty.

@SpelingError @Citizen Rules
Very well written. The way you describe things is interesting and effective.



That was funny. I liked the way you kept it serious and then in the last sentence....omg!
You have known me since you joined. You know I have both darkness and gentleness within me.

Others may not know me on the level you do.



@Citizen Rules @SpelingError @Allaby

I sat in the chair by the fire and looked at the Christmas tree before me. The lights were blinking and all a'glow. The children and my wife were asleep comfortable in their beds. For some reason, I felt very disturbed and could not sleep. The best thing to do was relax and have a drink. Christmas always seemed to be the hardest season for the family. My mind was thinking over the things from this past year and what the upcoming year would hold. My wife was clueless about our financial situation as I was the one who controlled the finances. My gambling debt was becoming to much to hand. I had to think of a way for us to survive for the upcoming year. Next thing I knew, I heard a terrible noise from the fireplace. When I looked up, I seen a man in a red suit over 6 feet tall with white hair and a beard. His cheeks were red but there was a burning evil in his eyes. Quickly my eyes moved from that face to the ax he was holding in his hand. My eyes were wide and filled with horror as I heard him say "Merry F**king Christmas" as the ax blade swung down and entered my skull.
Nicely done.



It's very bleak, if you take one recommendation ever from me, watch that one. It's serious stuff.
I have a longer story started of torture and horror.

I need a new laptop, maybe then I will get back to writing.



Trouble with a capital "T"
@Citizen Rules, I wish I was as good writing film reviews as I am writing stories and poems.
Ah, film reviews like we do here at MoFo don't mean squat. I mean there are MoFos who are excellent at it of course, but creative fictional writing like you do is what I think is impressive.



Ah, film reviews like we do here at MoFo don't mean squat. I mean there are MoFos who are excellent at it of course, but creative fictional writing like you do is what I think is impressive.
Imagination and the fact I'm a Pisces, a water sign.


Pisces are known for being compassionate, empathetic, and creative

The Ides of March