Keyser's Bottom 50 Directors 2024 Edition

Registered User

4 weeks ago

The same rules apply but in reverse. You get in the list if you do more bad movies than good, the average score tasllies are ordered the same way except the scores must be lower, and three perfect zero's get you a "VIP" pass, or as I like to call it, a one way ticket to Hell. Not enough for a top 100 yet, but I hope I can get that this year.

50. Albert Band

Not as bad as his brother, but essentially the same guy. The amount of good movies that either band has done is drastically outweighed by the number of bad movies.

Ghoulies 2: 16
Prehysteria 2: 25
Dracula's Dog: 27
Prehysteria: 28
Hercules and the Princess of Troy: 47

Score: 28.6 / 5

49. Phillip J. Roth

Roth is just another overly hopeful sci-fi director who's hoping to make some cult classics but still ends up falling short to B-style action crap the likes of which are constantly occupied by Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Prototype: 6
Deep Shock: 30
Digital Man: 31
Darkdrive: 33
Maximum Velocity: 42

Score: 28.4 / 5

48. Wych Kaosayananda

It's kind of incredible that his career revived AT ALL after the universally hated Ballistic, but, what can you do? Anyway, this guy's just another dumb action movie director who can't even hope to reach the likes of Kurt Wimmer, which isn't really a high bar.

Tekken 2: 11
Ballistic: 24
One Night in Bangkok: 32
Zero Tolerance: 41

Score: 27 / 4

47. Mark A.Z. Dipp�

When the debut movie everyone hates is one of his best, that lets you know where he's going. Now I haven't seen his Disney Channel original movies, but after his comic strip movies, I really don't feel like it. I mean, the original live-action Marmaduke was bad, but it's quite literally ten times as good as Mark's film.

Marmaduke: 3
Garfield's Pet Force: 21
Garfield Gets Real: 33
Garfield's Fun Fest: 38
Frankenfish: 43

Score: 27.6 / 5

46. Darrell Van Citters

Van Citters got his start making some pretty crappy mockbusters with low-budget indie animation which managed to be kinda cute thanks to staying in 2D, but never really had a chance. Now he's working heavily on the Tom & Jerry franchise, but it's not like he's actually spending time justifying the very idea of the franchise staying alive. I mean, Land Before Time sequels are more artistic.

Chop Kick Panda: 7
Puss in Boots: A Furry Tail: 19
Tappy Toes: 29
Tom & Jerry: Cowboy Up!: 38
Tom & Jerry: Snowman's Land: 44

Score: 27.4 / 5

45. Ed Wood, Jr.

The subject of a popular Depp Burton collab, Ed Wood Jr. is often considered the worst director ever, but these people haven't dug very deep. At least Ed has some cheese to justify not being in the bottom ten of all time, but yeah, he's done some pretty terrible stuff as well as cheesy stuff.

Bride of the Monster: 5.5
The Sinister Urge: 11
Glen or Glenda: 36
Night of the Ghouls: 39
Plan 9 from Outer Space: 42

Score: 26.7 / 5

44. Jim Wynorski

Wynorski can't really catch a break, can he? He's tried a bunch of different types of movies and yet, he really can't grasp what it takes to be a good director.

Ghoulies 4: 4
Bad Bizness: 26
Deathstalker II: 32
The Return of Swamp Thing: 37

Score: 24.75 / 4

43. Richard Rich

Much like Charles and / or Albert Band, Richard Rich let his career go a bit doward by focusing on VHS and direct-to-video success. As a result, he keeps making lame kiddy sequel after lame kiddy sequel. The Swan Princess franchis did get a little better after a while, but it was a bit too late to save his legacy with cute Disney movies.

The Swan Princess 3: 15.5
The Swan Princess 6: 20
The Swan Princess Christmas: 23
The Swan Princess 2: 33
The Swan Princess 5: 33

Score: 24.9 / 5

42. Bill Rebane

Not exactly a familiar or household name, and for good reason, Bill Rebane's movies will either be cheesy enough to be a cult classic or boring enough to completely forget.

Monster A Go-Go: 0
The Giant Spider Invasion: 15
The Game: 30
Blood Harvest: 33
The Alpha Incident: 42

Score: 24 / 5

41. John P. McCarthy

Another typical western director practically making the same movie over and over again. After two of thosw three I've seen, It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to explore him any further.

The Oklahoma Cyclone: 2.5
The Land of Missing Men: 15
Song of the Gringo: 52

Score: 23.16 / 3

Last edited by KeyserCorleone; 3 weeks ago at 12:08 AM.

KeyserCorleone

Registered User

4 weeks ago

40. Jeremy Saville

Since I have no interest in rewatching any of his films, his score will stay the same until he directs a fourth. He goes for deeper themes, but bad delivery, so-so acting and unlieable characters typically get in the way.

The Test: 13
Loqueesha: 17
Law American Style: 39

Score: 23 / 3

39. Amir Shervan

Strangely enough, I could only get access to his five English movies, so he ended up with the max amount. The problem is... only a couple of those movies have any rewatch value due to laughable cheese, but as the films get worse, it's largely because the cheese goes away.

Gypsy: 5
Young Rebels: 15
Killing American Style: 22
Hollywood Cop: 36
Samurai Cop: 38

Score: 23.6 / 5

38. Castille Landon

You'll find that she was largely put in charge of the final sequels of the After series. You wanna know what the after series is like? Three words: run to Twilight. That's how bad they are.

After Ever Happy: 17
After We Fell: 23
After Everything: 27

Score: 22.33 / 3

37. Uwe Boll

One of Hollywood's premiere "bad directors," Uwe Boll is incapable of acknowledging the low quality of his films. Mr. Angry Pants relies on the most basic of action filmmaking tricks to justify poorly-written sci-fi tripe that has insulted the creators of the video games he adapts.

House of the Dead: 0
Alone in the Dark: 6.5
Bloodrayne 2: 26
Bloodrayne: 34
Stoic: 44

Score: 22.1 / 5

36. David DeCoteau

Another one of the Full Moon Features veterans, not that being a Full Moon Features veteran is a good thing. DeCoteau basically helps to provide more cheesy sequels and new franchises to B-movie tripe for quick tax write-offs, but then he does crap like A Talking Cat, and I just lost hope for him.

A Talking Cat!?!: 0
Creepozoids: 22
Retro Puppet Master: 23
Puppet Master: Axis of Evill: 29
Curse of the Puppet Master: 33

Score: 21.4 / 5

35. Fred Olen Ray

Fred Olen Ray has a share of laughable b-movies like The Phantom Empire, but most if it is failed attempts at laughable cheese which sometimes either just come across as super-boring or kind of annoying.

The Alien Dead: 0
Dire Wolf: 17
Alienator: 18
Glass Trap: 31
Evil Toons: 34

Score: 21 / 5

34. Edward Finney

Basically another John P. McCarthy.

Silver Stallion: 15
King of the Stallions: 21
Queen of the Amazons: 25

Score: 20.33 / 3

33. & 32. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

These two are pretty bottom-of-the-barrel when it comes to parodies. When they stick with a certain theme, like Superfast, they're able to put out some funny jokes in their semi-bad movies, but when they take every pop culture reference they can and stuff it in a jar like with Disaster Movie, they completely suck.

Disaster Movie: 0
Epic Movie: 8
Meet the Spartans: 24
Superfast!: 44

Score: 19 / 4

31. Bert I. Gordon

Gordon wasn't originally one of the absolute worst. He was more just a guy who had some meh b-movies and forgettable ones. But one travesty of an MST3K entry cemented him place in the bottom 50: Village of the Giants. Ugh, horrible and intolerable.

Village of the Giants: 3
King DInosaur: 17
Earth Vs. the Spider: 18
War of the Collosal Beast: 27
The Magic Sword: 30

Score: 19 / 5

Last edited by KeyserCorleone; 3 weeks ago at 12:09 AM.

KeyserCorleone

Registered User

3 weeks ago

30. Norman Mailer

Mailer only slightly improved overtime after the drunken mess that was Wild 90, but he barely had a clear idea of what talent truly was. He is one of the worst examples of the independent autuer.

Wild 90: 0
Maidstone: 13
Tough Guys Don't Dance: 43

Score: 18.66 / 3

29. Mike Marvin

I was really hoping The Wraith would be a pretty cool one, but I didn't end up liking it at all. And then when Hamburger became a part of the picture, I knew, he had to be up here at least once.

Hamburger the Motion Picture: 2
Sunstorm: 22
The Wraith: 31

Score: 18.33 / 3

28. Albert Pyun

Pyun made something kinda cool out of the first Nemesis, but the sequels stunk as much as many other franchises he tried to start for Full Moon Features.

Nemesis 3: 4
Kickboxer 4: 12
Nemesis 2: 23
Omega Doom: 23
Adrenalin: Fear the Rush: 24

Score: 17 / 5

27. Robert F. Slatzer

Slazer's gonna be featured here for a long time. In his directorial efforts, he reached only the bare minimum of films needed to qualify, and two of those films happen to be rated as absolute zeros. I'll keep saying it: Bigfoot is worse than MST3K's Hellcats and needs to be riffed by the robots.

Bigfoot: 0
The Hellcats: 0
No Substitute for Victory: 48

Score: 16 / 3

26. Lee Frost

Lee Frost was already bad as a fiction moviemaker, but his mondo films are practically worthless.

Mondo Bizarro: 0
Mondo Freudo: 2.5
House on Bare Mountain: 16.5
Love Camp 7: 30
The Black Gestapo: 30

Score: 15.8 / 5

25. John Derek

He and his wife Bo make the worst kinds of erotic films. They're plotless, drawn out, and typically use a bad camera.

Fantasies: 4
Tarzan the Ape Man: 15
Ghosts Can't Do It: 15
Once Before I Die: 16.5
Bolero: 27

Score: 15.5 / 5

24. Tony Zarindast

It doesn't matter what type of movie he's doing, it'll end up drawn out, badly acted, themeless and largely plotless. Honestly, I've largely lost interest in exploring his other films.

Cat in the Cage: 6
Heaven Can Help: 14
Werewolf: 24

Score: 14.66 / 3

23. Joe D'Amato

I came under fire last time I put D'Amato on this list, and found a few worse directors to get him out of the top 20. But that doesn't mean his score raised. Even his better movies that have a good setup during the first two acts get ruined by boring and plotless third acts.

The Blade Master: 0
Beyond the Darkness: 4
Deep Blood: 14
Anthropophagous: 25
Death Smiles on a Murderer: 28

Score: 14.2 / 5

22. Marco Alemar

Alemar was one of the main directors involved in Video Brinquedo, which thankfully ended up tanking. The Gladiformers series never got to finish because the first two didn't really go anywhere, even though they weren't as bad as BR Futebol.

BR Futebol: 0
Gladiformers: 19
Gladiformers 2: 22

Score: 13.66 / 3

21. Camillo Teti

Teti is currently responsible for the single worst animated film I've ever seen: Yo-Rhad, which makes Titanic: the Legend Goes On look masterful despite also being an absolute zero. I've been trying to look for his other films for the potential laughability.

Yo-Rhad: 0
Titanic: The Legend Goes On: 0
Cobra Mission 2: 2
The Killer Is Still Among Us: 52

Score: 13.5 / 4

Last edited by KeyserCorleone; 3 weeks ago at 12:11 AM.

KeyserCorleone

Registered User

3 weeks ago

20. Tim Kincaid

This man also operates as a porn director known as Joe Gage, but I have not seen any of those movies. As for his non-porn films, this guy never had a clue what he was doing. One of his own movies was even remade into a better B-movie.

Robot Holocaust: 4
Mutant Hunt: 11
Bade Girls Dormitory: 13
Breeders: 16
Riot on 42nd Street: 34

Score: 13.6 / 5

19. Sam Newfield

Newfield is one of the more common directors featured on MST3K, and it even shows in entries that didn't even get shown there, like White Pongo. Newfield might've made a couple OK films out of The Black Raven and The Lady Confesses, but quality was exceptionally rare for him otherwise.

Radar Secret Service: 3
White Pongo: 7
Mad Monster: 19
Nabonga: 22
Lost Continent: 26

Score: 13.4 / 5

18. Andy Warhol

Warhol was a big dork who tried to have it all: artist, music producer, filmmaker, but he couldn't succeed at everything he did. For his experimental films, he was just flatout embarrassing. 40 minute movies out of people doing random things like kissing and eating? OH MY GOD. Obviously, all it took for him to consider something "art" was to be "different." He makes Bieber look like a genius.

Vinyl: 0
Eat: 0
Empire: 0.5
Kiss: 30
My Hustler: 36

Score: 13.3 / 5

17. Brett Piper

Piper tries to rely on cheese to sell his movies, but he has no ability to produce original thrills or scares, and not enough to generate mass amounts of laughability.

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell: 1
Bite Me: 4
Arachnia: 5
Mutant War: 22
Outpost Earth: 28

Score: 12 / 5

16. Guido Malatesta

I greatly enjoy cheesy peplums due to having been exposed to some classics in my youth, but Guido Malatesta largely relies on the worst aspects of these underdeveloped snorefests to capitalize on the fad of the time.

Colossus and the Headhunters: 2.5
Tarzana, the Wild Woman: 4
Colossus of the Stone Age: 16.5
Samoa, Queen of the Jungle: 23

Score: 11.5 / 4

15. Lewis Schoenbrun

Another joker who thinks cheesy special effects are all it takes to sell, but if The Amazing Bulk proves anything, it'll only turn you into a meme if you take the joke too far.

The Amazing Bulk: 4
Aliens Vs. Avatars: 7
Dr. Chopper: 22

Score: 11 / 3

14. Charles Band

Band doesn't give a rat's ass about quality, he only cares about selling another movie to make enough money to make another movie. The Full Moon Features franchise is pretty much a mockbuster cinematic universe because these guys have run out of ideas both horrifically and comically. And of course, with Band at the head of this, he'll have to take the most heat.

Ravenwolf Towers: 3
The Alchemist: 4
The Gingerdead Man: 6.5
Puppet Master: The Legacy: 19
Decadent Evil 2: 20

Score: 10.5 / 5

13. Ted V. Mikels

Mikels is mostly known for his Astro-Zombies and The Doll Squad, the latter of which was fairly worthy camp. Otherwise, his Astro-Zombies franchise fails at being enjoyable B-movies, and is largely the reason he's so high on my Worst Directors List.

Astro Zombies M4: 2
Mark of the Astro-Zombies: 6
Girl in Gold Boots: 13
The Astro-Zombies: 14
Astro-Zombies M3: 16

Score: 10.2 / 5

12. Herschell Gordon Lewis

This is a guy who felt that he had to rely on gore and sex to do things right, and his movies would end up ruined as a result. And the most famous time he tried to go clean with Monster a Go-Go ended up being his worst.

Monster a Go-Go: 0
Linda and Abilene: 1
Blood Feast: 17
The Gore Gore Girls: 17.5

Score: 8.875 / 4

11. Rene Cardona, Jr.

From a personal perspective, it's nice that this guy was constantly trying to do something new. But never once did he find what he was good at, and he just ended up ruining a plethora of different genres.

Vanessa: 1
Night of 1,000 Cats: 3
Treasure of the Amazon: 4
S.O.S.: Operation Bikini: 27

Score: 8.75 / 4

KeyserCorleone